Ok, So I havent seen Elly since the Monday before Christmas, and it totally sucks! I really really miss her! Apart from that theres not been much going on...
Robin stayed here from Christmas eve til yesterday when he finally went home. Jonathan was also here, and Ryan came up on christmas day and stayed the night. The house has been full of family and Ive gone and locked myself in my bedroom for the best part of it, thank god! Didnt really get anything for Christmas. Wig and Wayne paid towards the repairs for fixing my computer, so Olympos is back up and running again now! yay for super 'puter!!! My mom gave me £50 which was great as well! apart from that, i got some smelly's and shower gel that i dont really like, and some PJ's that are not only too small, but i dont wear them... Wig did also get me a black duvet set for my bed which is cool!
Worked Boxing day, which wasnt so bad. Everyones shifts have been cut down alot and the dickhead Ben has taken "holiday"... he says... hes basically been told to look for another job! Im doing all his shifts now, elly is gone, and i dont see pete coming back. Which is fine for me, cos it means me and ron have the pub to ourselves. Working new years eve, with extra pay, and a load of drink! so that will be good, but not sure if it will get busy or not, we are in the wrong part of town for it really. we will see....
Brought some DVDs, animes... ghost in the shell stuff.... and also got a new set of 3 mini samuri swords which is kool! i am also the new owner of guitar hero world tour! hehe.... dont the full set tho, i traded in some old games, and got just the game....
Ummm... i dont think there is anything else really! I havent been to bed yet since yesterday, but i feel fine! a lil drowsy.... but as expected!
I really do miss Elly.... just being near her, makes me feel at ease, and at the moment im really stressed with family and stuff, and shes not around, and she said i cant see her til next monday... which is like a week away.... and today is our 2 week anniversary! yeah i know... //rant over\\
gonna say my good byes... LOVE YOU ELLY!
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Saturday, 20 December 2008
Happy times
Been with Elly for 4 days now, and its great, she makes me really really happy. Im not going to see her now until proberly monday, and really going to miss her but im sure I will be fine. Been writing alot more of my poetry recently, and working on a large piece right now. Which is really good for me.
Was round beths tonight... well, actually most of the day and had a great time. Was ashame Elly couldnt come, cos that would of just made my day! And get this, I didnt take any alcohol around! Havent even been to work to pick up my wages today, will have to do that tomorrow.
My super computer is finally fixed, apparently the case was shorting out the mobo, god knows why, but its all repaired, legal copy of XP home, extra 2Gb ram... alls good! Will try to pick it up tomorrow. Will be upto my nan, seeming as shes paying as part of my Chrsitmas present.
Speaking of which.... Still need to buy presents for mom, stacey, andrea, tina... and a few others. Will also do that tomorrow while im in town. Dont really want to be in town tomorrow, as its Georgies birthday, and everyone will be around her, and I dont really wanna be there. Anyway. Gotta pay some bills as well! lol, lets hope i get a good payslip tomorrow!
Not really much else to say. Everything just seems great at the moment now that Elly is in my life. She doesnt say "I love you" which is ok, for now... Id rather she not say it until she means it... unlike some who just shout out the word "love" like its nothing. Love is a strong word to represent the passionate bond betwen a couple.... not just a word to throw around. Yeah Georgie! not that she properly reads my blog any more.... bleh...
I really wanna see elly! she makes me happy! and me needs hugs! I wouldnt care what we did, as long as i could see her. Been round her house every day since Monday, and its been great fun... but even without the sex, it wouldnt bother me. I just get this warm, happy feeling from just being near her. Its hard to explain, and IVe never felt this way with anyone.... I really do love her!
And todays tunage is...... my Chemical Romance - The Sharpest Lives
Was round beths tonight... well, actually most of the day and had a great time. Was ashame Elly couldnt come, cos that would of just made my day! And get this, I didnt take any alcohol around! Havent even been to work to pick up my wages today, will have to do that tomorrow.
My super computer is finally fixed, apparently the case was shorting out the mobo, god knows why, but its all repaired, legal copy of XP home, extra 2Gb ram... alls good! Will try to pick it up tomorrow. Will be upto my nan, seeming as shes paying as part of my Chrsitmas present.
Speaking of which.... Still need to buy presents for mom, stacey, andrea, tina... and a few others. Will also do that tomorrow while im in town. Dont really want to be in town tomorrow, as its Georgies birthday, and everyone will be around her, and I dont really wanna be there. Anyway. Gotta pay some bills as well! lol, lets hope i get a good payslip tomorrow!
Not really much else to say. Everything just seems great at the moment now that Elly is in my life. She doesnt say "I love you" which is ok, for now... Id rather she not say it until she means it... unlike some who just shout out the word "love" like its nothing. Love is a strong word to represent the passionate bond betwen a couple.... not just a word to throw around. Yeah Georgie! not that she properly reads my blog any more.... bleh...
I really wanna see elly! she makes me happy! and me needs hugs! I wouldnt care what we did, as long as i could see her. Been round her house every day since Monday, and its been great fun... but even without the sex, it wouldnt bother me. I just get this warm, happy feeling from just being near her. Its hard to explain, and IVe never felt this way with anyone.... I really do love her!
And todays tunage is...... my Chemical Romance - The Sharpest Lives
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
so guess what the answer is!
YES!!!! Elly said yes!!!! oh my god, im like the happiest person in the world at the moment, and cant stop damn smiling! so... I have a girlfriend! I cant think of anything else at the moment! Im overjoyed!
Words really cannot express the way Im feeling at the moment! I cant wait to see her, and hug and kiss my girlfriend! hehehe
LOVE YOU ELLY!
Words really cannot express the way Im feeling at the moment! I cant wait to see her, and hug and kiss my girlfriend! hehehe
LOVE YOU ELLY!
nothing....
Ive not really got anything to say, Im just here venting some frustration out of my system! Elly hasnt come out with an answer yet, and Ive got one side of me screaming to her "just say yes" but then the logical side has taken over and im telling her to take her time, and I dont mind waiting, especially for her, and to think it through properly. Yeah, my logical side is right, shes one girl I'd wait til the end of the world for, and she should think it all through, but I do also want her to say yes. Either way, we will see what happens and at the end of the day, no matter what answer she gives me, it has brought our friendship closer, and we are gonna stay friends!
In other news, I rang up about my super puter being repaired, and its still being worked on, and they cant even find out whats wrong with it. They are hoping to have some sort of answer for me by tomorrow at the latest, so I will ring them again later on in the week. I cant wait to get it back! its been ages without it!
umm.... really cant think of anything else to say..... lifes just THAT interesting at the moment! I will write when Elly gives me an answer, or the world ends, or something remotely interesting happens!
In other news, I rang up about my super puter being repaired, and its still being worked on, and they cant even find out whats wrong with it. They are hoping to have some sort of answer for me by tomorrow at the latest, so I will ring them again later on in the week. I cant wait to get it back! its been ages without it!
umm.... really cant think of anything else to say..... lifes just THAT interesting at the moment! I will write when Elly gives me an answer, or the world ends, or something remotely interesting happens!
waiting for an answer!
Think this is themost posts ive made in one day.... but anyway!
Ive asked Elly out, and have given her time to think about it. Ive actually fallen in love with her, and not just because of today, this happened bfore today. I think its everything put together, and all my emotions, and she just makes me happy!
We talked about the "complications" of it all today, that she thinks shes still in love with someone else, but that person is happy with their girlfriend, and I know them, but she wont tell me who. Shes also worried about what her parents will say, and i understand, cos thats part of my worries as well. But if we are happy together then shouldnt everything else come second? She also said thats not sure if she loves me, which I respect. No matter what happens we are still gonna be friends. And thats the best part. These last few days have brought us closer.
Shes also got me writing poetry again, and Ive written two just about her... The one below was written last night, after I got home, and it really does hit home.
Yeah i know the last verse is a little emo, but im addicted to her! I will give her the time she needs to think this all through, and no matter what happens, we are still friends!
Eleanor Elizabeth Eva Jones I really have fallen in love with you xxxxx
Ive asked Elly out, and have given her time to think about it. Ive actually fallen in love with her, and not just because of today, this happened bfore today. I think its everything put together, and all my emotions, and she just makes me happy!
We talked about the "complications" of it all today, that she thinks shes still in love with someone else, but that person is happy with their girlfriend, and I know them, but she wont tell me who. Shes also worried about what her parents will say, and i understand, cos thats part of my worries as well. But if we are happy together then shouldnt everything else come second? She also said thats not sure if she loves me, which I respect. No matter what happens we are still gonna be friends. And thats the best part. These last few days have brought us closer.
Shes also got me writing poetry again, and Ive written two just about her... The one below was written last night, after I got home, and it really does hit home.
the twinkle in her eyes
as she holds me tight
the shine she gives
in the daylight
the way i feel
when shes not around
she makes me feel
like i am bound
to her and everything
that she means to me
now ive got her
shes all i want to be
holding her
kissing her
in this sweet imbrace
holding her
kissing her
in this haste
lifes to fast to let her pass
if she walked on without me there
then would it really be worth the air
as she holds me tight
the shine she gives
in the daylight
the way i feel
when shes not around
she makes me feel
like i am bound
to her and everything
that she means to me
now ive got her
shes all i want to be
holding her
kissing her
in this sweet imbrace
holding her
kissing her
in this haste
lifes to fast to let her pass
if she walked on without me there
then would it really be worth the air
Yeah i know the last verse is a little emo, but im addicted to her! I will give her the time she needs to think this all through, and no matter what happens, we are still friends!
Eleanor Elizabeth Eva Jones I really have fallen in love with you xxxxx
Monday, 15 December 2008
my personal choice of drug....
Soooo...... hehe.... i am overjoyed in happiness at the moment. Its been one of the best days Ive had in a long long long time, and I dont think anything could spoil it for me now! Spent 7 and a half hours with Elly today, and it was so natural. I needed even have a cigarette, or wanted one! It just feels right with her. No we are not dating, well, that is to say, neither of us has asked the other out officially. I was hoping she would, and i was tempted to do it before i left, but I felt nervous about it. Anyway.... I gave her her birthday "present" lmfao, and thats all im allowed to say on the matter! Lets just say she enjoyed it. Just curling up on the sofa with her, cuddling, with the occasional kiss felt so peaceful I didnt want to leave.
Ive also decided that when she closes her eyes,when shes happy, she looks like an angel! She may be an evil demented angel, but shes still an angel! its the way she closes her eyes, and her hair fell accross her face, and the sunshine glints off her skin. Its so serene! Everything about her mezmerizes me! its like shes my own personal drug!
I will stop speaking about her... at some point! I really want to make it official, but im not sure how she thinks about that, will have to talk to her about it! The only thing that would worry me is how her family would take it. With the age gap etc... Im sure that as long as Elly is happy, then they wont mind! Its not like its that bad!
Will write more as it all progresses!
Peace xxx
And todays tunage is...... Paramore - Hallelujah
Ive also decided that when she closes her eyes,when shes happy, she looks like an angel! She may be an evil demented angel, but shes still an angel! its the way she closes her eyes, and her hair fell accross her face, and the sunshine glints off her skin. Its so serene! Everything about her mezmerizes me! its like shes my own personal drug!
I will stop speaking about her... at some point! I really want to make it official, but im not sure how she thinks about that, will have to talk to her about it! The only thing that would worry me is how her family would take it. With the age gap etc... Im sure that as long as Elly is happy, then they wont mind! Its not like its that bad!
Will write more as it all progresses!
Peace xxx
And todays tunage is...... Paramore - Hallelujah
Ultra Early
So my nan thinks I have an exam today, which I kinda did.... But now I'm up at 7am in the morning with nothing to do! I'm really looking forward to going round to Elly's house today. Even if nothing happens, it will be nice to just chill out and relax! I'm letting her pace this, I don't want to push her into anything she doesn't want to do!
Oh, sweet sixteen! he he HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLY!
Really should of brought those edible underwear for her birthday present! May have been alot of fun! it still will be without, and as we said online last night, theres plenty of other times!
Right, gotta leave in 20 odd minutes, and will walk round to Elly's. Shes not waking up til 9am so will take it slow, and make a detour to the shops first! also have to look at my nans PC for her first! bleh, shes retarded sometimes!
More later
Peace
Oh, sweet sixteen! he he HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLY!
Really should of brought those edible underwear for her birthday present! May have been alot of fun! it still will be without, and as we said online last night, theres plenty of other times!
Right, gotta leave in 20 odd minutes, and will walk round to Elly's. Shes not waking up til 9am so will take it slow, and make a detour to the shops first! also have to look at my nans PC for her first! bleh, shes retarded sometimes!
More later
Peace
Sunday, 14 December 2008
some..... non-Elly news
where to start? Me enjoying a christmas is back on the books.... maybe.... hopefully..... we will see how things go! Elly has gone to Camden with her mom and im jealous! I dont think im jealous that they have gone to Camden, its more that im jealous because i cant see Elly today! Plus I wanna go Camden...
Anyway... i said non-Elly news! Lewis doesnt like me atm because i was apparently flirting with cat at beths?!?! Im sory, me and cat are great friends, and i proberly know more about her then he does, but in no fucking way in hell was i flirting with her! Ewww... Even if cat was single i wouldnt. Sory cat, but your just not my type!
Ive also unblocked Georgie on msn and we are kinda speaking again, im not sure why, maybe its cos im happy now, or because I just dont care about her any more. Im not saying we are friends again yet, but we are speaking.
There really isnt much other news, Im meeting Elly tomorrow! YAY! going to Cowley Centre so she can do a bit of christmas shopping! I have an exam on basic math tomorrow at 2pm as well. so we will see how that goes! I think ive failed this semester any way. and not sure if they will kick me out or not! i will have to wait and see!
Will post again soon!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLY..... for tomorrow! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hehe
Peace
Anyway... i said non-Elly news! Lewis doesnt like me atm because i was apparently flirting with cat at beths?!?! Im sory, me and cat are great friends, and i proberly know more about her then he does, but in no fucking way in hell was i flirting with her! Ewww... Even if cat was single i wouldnt. Sory cat, but your just not my type!
Ive also unblocked Georgie on msn and we are kinda speaking again, im not sure why, maybe its cos im happy now, or because I just dont care about her any more. Im not saying we are friends again yet, but we are speaking.
There really isnt much other news, Im meeting Elly tomorrow! YAY! going to Cowley Centre so she can do a bit of christmas shopping! I have an exam on basic math tomorrow at 2pm as well. so we will see how that goes! I think ive failed this semester any way. and not sure if they will kick me out or not! i will have to wait and see!
Will post again soon!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLY..... for tomorrow! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hehe
Peace
Saturday, 13 December 2008
NEWS ALERT!
Im actually really really happy! No, i havent withdrawn and taking happy pills from the docs! Its because of a girl... Today is the first day since the "georgie inncident" that that im truely happy. Yeah I may have seemed happy previously, but i fake it to keep all your little minds happy!
I will start from the beginning! Yesterday, I went into town, met Demi and Chinky, had fun, ran into Hayley and Lewis, and them two were going to Beths, and JJ had invited me, and Beth invited me last week, so i thiught why not. I picked up my wages, brought some drink, and pringles and went to Beths. I tried to convince Elly to go, cos i never get to see her, and we all know how much I've always liked her, and I had her christmas present! But she didnt go :( She currently has an eye infection, so it was ok.
Spoke to Elly last night and spent ages trying to convince her to come into town, but she said it was upto what the docs said when her mom rang them this morning, with the eye infection and all. So I rang her this morning and spent half an hour convincing her! But she finally said yes! So i walked round Beths this morning, met with Beth and Elly, and we all went to town together!
Despite the lack of people due to the rain, I didnt think there would be a problem in town, as I was told Georgie wasnt gonna be around. But low and behold, guess who showed up. Yup, she did! Anyway, it wasnt a problem, i actually had the guts to give her all her stuff back, and she wanted a hug.... it felt awkward... I ran back and hid with Elly, and we cuddled and had our arms around each other, and you had Georgie and Craig just standing behind us and they kept looking over and i think we scared them away... so there!
thing is, me and elly didnt stop holding each other after they left, and it felt nice, and natural. I know what everyone's gonna say, with the 8 years between us, but i dont care what people think, and its not like we are actually dating.... (yet)
me and Elly also went for a walk together, to get away from georgie, and to get warm, so we walked around westgate, and went to hawkins bazaar, etc, then we sat under halifax, away fom everyone else. Beth and her friend came over, and i gave Elly her christmas present of marshmellow hello kitty's, and we had fun canaballising hello kitty!
I went home with Beth and Elly, and elly suggested i got off with her, which is the stop before Beth, so i did, and i had her marshmellows in my bag anyway. We saw Josh outside his work (smith and low). Josh is Georgies, sisters boyfriend. But also went to primary school with Elly, and lives around the corner! small world! I walked Elly home, and she linked arms with me which was nice, and when we got to hers, we hugged, as you do, but then, she kissed me. And i dont mean just a friendly kiss, a proper kiss! It was such a supprise. It really made my day! Im so happy right now, thinking of that kiss!
Anyway, thats why im so god damn happy right now! that one special kiss, from a girl ive always loved but never thought id get to be with... you know how it goes. anyway, more later!
Peace x
And todays tunage is...... Lost Prophets - Rooftops
I will start from the beginning! Yesterday, I went into town, met Demi and Chinky, had fun, ran into Hayley and Lewis, and them two were going to Beths, and JJ had invited me, and Beth invited me last week, so i thiught why not. I picked up my wages, brought some drink, and pringles and went to Beths. I tried to convince Elly to go, cos i never get to see her, and we all know how much I've always liked her, and I had her christmas present! But she didnt go :( She currently has an eye infection, so it was ok.
Spoke to Elly last night and spent ages trying to convince her to come into town, but she said it was upto what the docs said when her mom rang them this morning, with the eye infection and all. So I rang her this morning and spent half an hour convincing her! But she finally said yes! So i walked round Beths this morning, met with Beth and Elly, and we all went to town together!
Despite the lack of people due to the rain, I didnt think there would be a problem in town, as I was told Georgie wasnt gonna be around. But low and behold, guess who showed up. Yup, she did! Anyway, it wasnt a problem, i actually had the guts to give her all her stuff back, and she wanted a hug.... it felt awkward... I ran back and hid with Elly, and we cuddled and had our arms around each other, and you had Georgie and Craig just standing behind us and they kept looking over and i think we scared them away... so there!
thing is, me and elly didnt stop holding each other after they left, and it felt nice, and natural. I know what everyone's gonna say, with the 8 years between us, but i dont care what people think, and its not like we are actually dating.... (yet)
me and Elly also went for a walk together, to get away from georgie, and to get warm, so we walked around westgate, and went to hawkins bazaar, etc, then we sat under halifax, away fom everyone else. Beth and her friend came over, and i gave Elly her christmas present of marshmellow hello kitty's, and we had fun canaballising hello kitty!
I went home with Beth and Elly, and elly suggested i got off with her, which is the stop before Beth, so i did, and i had her marshmellows in my bag anyway. We saw Josh outside his work (smith and low). Josh is Georgies, sisters boyfriend. But also went to primary school with Elly, and lives around the corner! small world! I walked Elly home, and she linked arms with me which was nice, and when we got to hers, we hugged, as you do, but then, she kissed me. And i dont mean just a friendly kiss, a proper kiss! It was such a supprise. It really made my day! Im so happy right now, thinking of that kiss!
Anyway, thats why im so god damn happy right now! that one special kiss, from a girl ive always loved but never thought id get to be with... you know how it goes. anyway, more later!
Peace x
And todays tunage is...... Lost Prophets - Rooftops
Thursday, 11 December 2008
it still continues
Life still goes on, the dull, numb existance that im trudging through at the moment. Ive found "replacements" for the presents that i brought Georgie, and have all her stuff packed away, giving it to woodzy on saturday for her. It doesnt seem to hurt any more, I just feel numb. Its like theres no feelings left inside of me.
But I spent the best part of today with Jen, Jo, and Hannah which was enjoyable. Hannah has had her op, and is in pain, she now has 13 pins in her bottom left leg. It was good to see Jen again, and be like it was before, more then the hey, bye convos we have in town. We actually chat etc.
Been speaking to Elly tonight which seems to always make me smile :D and yes elly... look... another mention :p hehe, shes kool, and always seems to act alot more mature then her age. theres other things i'd like to say, but it would scare her...
Anyway, lifes very "normal" at the moment, and I need to change that! I need to sort things out, get a girl, sort out my life! And learn to be happy again!
Peace x
But I spent the best part of today with Jen, Jo, and Hannah which was enjoyable. Hannah has had her op, and is in pain, she now has 13 pins in her bottom left leg. It was good to see Jen again, and be like it was before, more then the hey, bye convos we have in town. We actually chat etc.
Been speaking to Elly tonight which seems to always make me smile :D and yes elly... look... another mention :p hehe, shes kool, and always seems to act alot more mature then her age. theres other things i'd like to say, but it would scare her...
Anyway, lifes very "normal" at the moment, and I need to change that! I need to sort things out, get a girl, sort out my life! And learn to be happy again!
Peace x
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
ok, so it wasnt my last....
Yeah, i may have overstepped the gun in my last post. I did mean all the things i wrote and i still feel like my life isnt worth living anymore, but whats just hurt me even more is the whole "i want to stay single for a while" comment from her... well i guess her definition if "a while" is 2 days? Checked her bebo page, and shes now going out with craig. I just dont care, the world is fucked, my life is fucked, and she still wants to be friends after doing this to me? hahahahaha, thats not gonna happen!
Anyway, ive spent the day removing all traces of her from my bedroom, done some cleaning, washing and paperwork etc. Gonna wrap my pressents soon, and yeah im still gonna give her the presents i brought, even if she doesnt deserve them. Im gonna see if woodzy can meet me one day and take them to hers for me.
Im gonna chill out tonight and try to forget all my problems. then tomorrow, im taking my super puter to the shop to get repaired, more housework etc, and spend another evening chilling out!
Also had random people adding to me msn.... some guy called Callum, a friend of elly's. Elly apparently reads my blog :S and linked it to him.... Also had john add me, hes an old school friend who i havent seen in 9 years. and theres one more random person, but not sure who that is yet! anyway, im outa here! I will write again, and soon! seeming as i dont have anything better to do now!
Peace
Anyway, ive spent the day removing all traces of her from my bedroom, done some cleaning, washing and paperwork etc. Gonna wrap my pressents soon, and yeah im still gonna give her the presents i brought, even if she doesnt deserve them. Im gonna see if woodzy can meet me one day and take them to hers for me.
Im gonna chill out tonight and try to forget all my problems. then tomorrow, im taking my super puter to the shop to get repaired, more housework etc, and spend another evening chilling out!
Also had random people adding to me msn.... some guy called Callum, a friend of elly's. Elly apparently reads my blog :S and linked it to him.... Also had john add me, hes an old school friend who i havent seen in 9 years. and theres one more random person, but not sure who that is yet! anyway, im outa here! I will write again, and soon! seeming as i dont have anything better to do now!
Peace
Sunday, 7 December 2008
my last ever post... ever!
Just when i thought i might actually enjoy a Christmas! She does this to me! Georgie spent the night at mine last Monday, it was great, everything it always is with her! she even cried she was THAT happy... well now im crying, and not for being happy. I was meant to meet her on Thursday, but my nan made me go shopping with her and then she made me do the Christmas decorations, which still arnt finished. so i rang her, and explained etc and she was fine and said we would see each other on saturday... the thing is, i didnt hear from her til this morning, nothing, and when i get a text, no i love you or i miss you etc like she usually does, and when i get into town, and finally see her, i hug her and she doesnt hug back, she says shes going to westgate and says "yeah, sure you do" ... thats not the sort of reply you give your boyfriend when he says i love you after not seeing him in 4 days! thats basically all she said to me all day, no hugs, no kisses, not even a glance in my direction. along with the migraine i had before i got to town that just made me feel even worse! its like my world has ended!
What hurts even more is that not a week ago she was asking me to ask her to marry her, and spend our lifes together, and that she doesn't want any of this to change! to then do this, that's just broken me... she may just be in a bad mood, i know its her time of month and all... but if it goes the way it looks like, then i wont be around to see any of it! when i got to work, just before i started i sent her a text asking what was wrong cos it was just hurting too much.... they are as follows...
James: Is there something wrong with us? U didn't say 2 words to me all day! i really love you x
Georgie: its not workin out xXx
James: Then why not speak to me about it? i dnt want to loose you, id do anything for you! just last week you said the same to me, u saying its all been a lie?
So there... she then didnt reply, but im speaking to her now online, she said she ran out of credit so?
the msn convo is as follows
James says:
whats going on? why didnt you reply?
Georgie says:
i have no texts left
James says:
ohh
Georgie says:
yerr
Georgie says:
:s
Georgie says:
sucks
James says:
so?
James says:
whys it not working out?
Georgie says:
coz i like to fuck around
Georgie says:
and it's killing me
James says:
so the whole "i really love you" and "i want you to marry me" and the "i want to spend the rest of my life with you" . all that was bullshit then?
Georgie says:
haha
Georgie says:
No
Georgie says:
It was just that i was in a lovey dovey mood
James says:
you dont say you want to devote your life to one guy and spend the rest of your life with him just cos your in a lovey dovey mood
Georgie says:
actually i do... that's my problem
James says:
:'(
James says:
you dont have a clue how much pain im in right now do you?
Georgie says:
you have no idea...
Georgie says:
In case you havent noticed
Georgie says:
i've been crying all day
Georgie says:
and having to take walk
Georgie says:
*s
Georgie says:
And even just now thomas came over for 2hrs
Georgie says:
coz i keep crying
Georgie says:
:'(
Georgie says:
so yerr...
Georgie says:
James u there
James says:
yeah
James says:
i dont know what to say
Georgie says:
just say whatever
Georgie says:
I'm in a mellow mood
Georgie says:
so i can take most abuse
So yeah... I don't know what do do! it would be so easy just to end it right now! and its not like i don't know how to do it painlessly... just fall to sleep James...
yeah OK, i know my old promises, but fuck them all... my life isn't worth living without her in it. She means to world to me... scrap that... she is my world! I wont do anything yet, i promised woodzy i wouldn't on the phone just now... so OK, not yet then... but who knows!
now for the last part of my last ever blog... a poem.. my last ever one... dedicated to the only woman i love!
What hurts even more is that not a week ago she was asking me to ask her to marry her, and spend our lifes together, and that she doesn't want any of this to change! to then do this, that's just broken me... she may just be in a bad mood, i know its her time of month and all... but if it goes the way it looks like, then i wont be around to see any of it! when i got to work, just before i started i sent her a text asking what was wrong cos it was just hurting too much.... they are as follows...
James: Is there something wrong with us? U didn't say 2 words to me all day! i really love you x
Georgie: its not workin out xXx
James: Then why not speak to me about it? i dnt want to loose you, id do anything for you! just last week you said the same to me, u saying its all been a lie?
So there... she then didnt reply, but im speaking to her now online, she said she ran out of credit so?
the msn convo is as follows
James says:
whats going on? why didnt you reply?
Georgie says:
i have no texts left
James says:
ohh
Georgie says:
yerr
Georgie says:
:s
Georgie says:
sucks
James says:
so?
James says:
whys it not working out?
Georgie says:
coz i like to fuck around
Georgie says:
and it's killing me
James says:
so the whole "i really love you" and "i want you to marry me" and the "i want to spend the rest of my life with you" . all that was bullshit then?
Georgie says:
haha
Georgie says:
No
Georgie says:
It was just that i was in a lovey dovey mood
James says:
you dont say you want to devote your life to one guy and spend the rest of your life with him just cos your in a lovey dovey mood
Georgie says:
actually i do... that's my problem
James says:
:'(
James says:
you dont have a clue how much pain im in right now do you?
Georgie says:
you have no idea...
Georgie says:
In case you havent noticed
Georgie says:
i've been crying all day
Georgie says:
and having to take walk
Georgie says:
*s
Georgie says:
And even just now thomas came over for 2hrs
Georgie says:
coz i keep crying
Georgie says:
:'(
Georgie says:
so yerr...
Georgie says:
James u there
James says:
yeah
James says:
i dont know what to say
Georgie says:
just say whatever
Georgie says:
I'm in a mellow mood
Georgie says:
so i can take most abuse
So yeah... I don't know what do do! it would be so easy just to end it right now! and its not like i don't know how to do it painlessly... just fall to sleep James...
yeah OK, i know my old promises, but fuck them all... my life isn't worth living without her in it. She means to world to me... scrap that... she is my world! I wont do anything yet, i promised woodzy i wouldn't on the phone just now... so OK, not yet then... but who knows!
now for the last part of my last ever blog... a poem.. my last ever one... dedicated to the only woman i love!
My hearts shattered
Broken in despair
When all I did is love her
And all I did is care
She said she really loved me
And then so goes like this
I cant stand the pain she caused
When she didn't hug or kiss
The moments that we had together
Were nothing I could compare
But now shes gone and I am down
This pain I cannot bare
So tonight I say goodbye to you
To her and everyone
She said it wasn't working out
Wee now I guess shes won
Broken in despair
When all I did is love her
And all I did is care
She said she really loved me
And then so goes like this
I cant stand the pain she caused
When she didn't hug or kiss
The moments that we had together
Were nothing I could compare
But now shes gone and I am down
This pain I cannot bare
So tonight I say goodbye to you
To her and everyone
She said it wasn't working out
Wee now I guess shes won
Monday, 1 December 2008
25 days
so we all know im the grinch when it comes to christmas, but for some reason this year it might actually be enjoyable, and thats mainly down to Georgie! Its the first time ive ever had a girlfriend over christmas, and yes, i know ive spent way too much on her, but shes damn well worth it! She said it makes her feel like im buying her, and i dont want her to feel like that, but ever since the age of 12, your own father beating you up on christmas eve tends to make every christmas after that a bad memory, and i want to make this one with Georgie special, and i do that by buying things, and if i want to spend my money on the one and only person who can make me this happy, then i will!
I also have to find her something for her birthday which is on the 20th! Im not sure what to get, and the things shes said she wants, i already have as chrsitmas presents! so will need to think hard about it! I will work something special out!
as with other things, ive found out my 2 exams are on the 15th and 19th, and hopefully i wont have failed this semester, i cant afford to resit it again, if the let me! as with work, we finally got rid of our cleaners and now have to do it all ourselves... but Ben is really starting to piss me off, hes so lazy! and he thinks he knows how to manage a small pub when in reality he hasnt got a fucking clue!
I still cant stop thinking bout Georgie... i love her so damn much! every second im not with her hurts me and i wanna spend the rest of my life with her! i just dont want to rush things, even with all the "hints" shes giving me! i need some time to sort my life out, and im not proposing to her until i can afford to settle down and buy her a sparkling ring :p
anyway... Georgie is hopefully staying round mine tomorrow night, and she stayed round friday night and its so nice when shes here, and not just because of the sex! just being with her, cuddling as we watch a film, its peaceful and makes me feel like nothing in the world could make me upset... Shes my drug, and im addicted to her!
im not gonna keep talking bout her!... ok, yeah i am... I love her too much!!!!
SUZIE LOVES PUG.....
Peace
I also have to find her something for her birthday which is on the 20th! Im not sure what to get, and the things shes said she wants, i already have as chrsitmas presents! so will need to think hard about it! I will work something special out!
as with other things, ive found out my 2 exams are on the 15th and 19th, and hopefully i wont have failed this semester, i cant afford to resit it again, if the let me! as with work, we finally got rid of our cleaners and now have to do it all ourselves... but Ben is really starting to piss me off, hes so lazy! and he thinks he knows how to manage a small pub when in reality he hasnt got a fucking clue!
I still cant stop thinking bout Georgie... i love her so damn much! every second im not with her hurts me and i wanna spend the rest of my life with her! i just dont want to rush things, even with all the "hints" shes giving me! i need some time to sort my life out, and im not proposing to her until i can afford to settle down and buy her a sparkling ring :p
anyway... Georgie is hopefully staying round mine tomorrow night, and she stayed round friday night and its so nice when shes here, and not just because of the sex! just being with her, cuddling as we watch a film, its peaceful and makes me feel like nothing in the world could make me upset... Shes my drug, and im addicted to her!
im not gonna keep talking bout her!... ok, yeah i am... I love her too much!!!!
SUZIE LOVES PUG.....
Peace
Monday, 24 November 2008
bored and christmas
Woke up late this morning which meant I didnt have time to go see my favourite girl, but thats ok, cos i went to see Georgie after work, and spent the rest of the night with her! Im hoping to actually wake up semi early and meet her from school tomorrow before i have work at 4pm. Work was actually busy, at least for a sunday. It might have something to do with having Slainte playing, and it being Heath's last gig. He's going back home to new Zealand, thank god! no more annoying bagpipes down cornmarket!!! Dont get me wrong, hes a nice enough guy, but hes a kiwi, playing a scottish instrument, in england as part of an irish band, how more ironic can you get?
Cant wait to see georgie, i still cant stop thinking of her! I absolutly, unquestioningly love her! but on with my blog...
Im that bored, ive actually written a christmas wih list. The problem is, no one can afford anything on it! It comprises of a £350 LCD HD TV, £350 digital SLR D60 Nikon camera, £150 to repair my super computer, £150 for the band bundle of guitar hero: world tour, and £130 for a guitar and amp... ok, so my nan and my uncle are putting money together to actually pay to get my PC repaired, so thats one down. But the rest of my family cant dream of the sort of money to get the other things on my list, maybe its just wishful thinking? if you wanna have a gander at it, then download a copy HERE
I know im scrouge and all, but this will be the first christmas i have ever had when ive had a girlfriend, so im hoping to make it a fun one! I really need to save up so i can buy Georgie's present! Also got her dad something... which is kinda weird! And even if she doesnt like suprises, shes gonna have one! so there! Im not telling her EVERYTHING that shes getting!
gonna go lay in bed now and chill out, and try to get some sleep!
Peace xxx
Cant wait to see georgie, i still cant stop thinking of her! I absolutly, unquestioningly love her! but on with my blog...
Im that bored, ive actually written a christmas wih list. The problem is, no one can afford anything on it! It comprises of a £350 LCD HD TV, £350 digital SLR D60 Nikon camera, £150 to repair my super computer, £150 for the band bundle of guitar hero: world tour, and £130 for a guitar and amp... ok, so my nan and my uncle are putting money together to actually pay to get my PC repaired, so thats one down. But the rest of my family cant dream of the sort of money to get the other things on my list, maybe its just wishful thinking? if you wanna have a gander at it, then download a copy HERE
I know im scrouge and all, but this will be the first christmas i have ever had when ive had a girlfriend, so im hoping to make it a fun one! I really need to save up so i can buy Georgie's present! Also got her dad something... which is kinda weird! And even if she doesnt like suprises, shes gonna have one! so there! Im not telling her EVERYTHING that shes getting!
gonna go lay in bed now and chill out, and try to get some sleep!
Peace xxx
Saturday, 22 November 2008
nothing else...
Holding you there in my arms
Nothing else matters when Im with you
We can get through it all
No matter what we do
That feeling you get
The love inside of me
When everything is perfect
And we let things be
I feel so outragously happy at the moment! damn it! Its all her fault! hehehehehe...
Georgie stayed at mine last night! I met her from school on thursday, we went to her house and picked up her stuff and went back to mine. It was really great, we watched surfs up, and just chilled out, and had some fun... as you do... it felt like.. umm... its hard to explain! its like we are meant to be together, and fate has drawn us to each other. I feel so at peace, and i really do feel like i want to spend the rest of eternity with Georgie. I can honestly see us settling down, getting a house together, married, with kids etc. not that its gonna happen soon, i want to sort out uni, and money, and give it a year or two before anything remotely starts happening. we will see where things go. But today we went to town and she brought me dinner at noodle bar, and i was sat there, just watching her. Ive been doing that alot, just thinking of nothing, looking at her, and she thinks something is up, but its nothing, i just blank out, and stare into her eyes! they are sooooooo amazing! but anyway, im sat there, gazing at her, thinking of what the engagement ring would look like! And i pictured how i would propose.. having all our friends and family at a big party, christmas or something, not sure what, but going up to the band, taking the microphone, and doing it there, in front of everyone... which is something i would never ever usually do!
Georgie has also started a blog, and its so nice to read her thoughts, its on her bebo! god, why is this happening! I just cant stop thinking of her... im meant to be writing bout my trip to the gloc tonight! but i cant get her out of my thoughts! hehe...
The gloc james... concentrate! hehe...
Ok, me and Georgie were in town, had noodle bar, did some shopping for the pub, and such, then i walked her to the bus stop and after i met up with demi, nat, lee, etc, and we all went to the gloc. Marianna was there as well, and scott showed up after work at around 10:15pm. it was a great night, and im happy that some of the young'ens are now old enough to drink there, even if they did miss the great times of old school gloc! Also ran into Mooney and louise! Havent seen either of them since forever! was so much fun!
Ima go now, and think of the love of my life!
Thursday, 20 November 2008
the "in depth" version
ok, so Im being made to write an "in depth" version, just so the love of my life has something to read! hehe... Here you go Georgie!
Lets start on the main points from the last post!
As of Sunday 16th December 2008 me and Georgie are back together. It was a tough break, as you can tell from my depression stricken posts over the last week or so, but Im even happier then when we we orignally together, which is immense! Her family love me, and my nan seems to accept her, which is weird. But anyway, Her mom is actually letting her stay at mine thursday night, so YAY! I cant wait! So heres me, the happiest guy in the world, blazing my tunes (currently: Wounds - InMe) while sipping on my Diet coke, too happy to sleep at 3:20am.
Next point was that me and Georgie are still friends with JJ, which is good, just because you break up with someone, it shouldnt mean you should stop speaking to them. Yes I know i disappear for a few weeks and dont speak to my ex's after we spilt up, but after the wounds heal I will still be their friends. Im not sure what Georgie thinks about me and Megan still being close friends, Its been quite awkward, especially on halloween. But they both seemed to find a safe ground today when i had them both at my pub. I really should introduce Laura to Georgie, not sure what Laura would say about that, but I havent spoken, let alone seen laura in quite a while. We get on well, given whats happened between us, but she seems to be distancing herself from me.
Point three was Scotts 21st Birthday last tuesday. I went with Demi and had a really great time, despite the lack of money! Maybe it was the fact that we were all in the gloc that made up for it? Me and Demi had left by 9pm, and scott was on his way to getting legless. Lee was there as well, and from what ive heard I dont think scott could walk home! well, anyway, Congrats Scott!
Now for the main point! I know one of my "change my life" promises a few years ago was no more slot machines... well... I went to work last monday, had a fiver on me! Decided to put a quid in the new machine, and i won about £15, so i put a few more quid in... and won again and again and again. At the end of the night I had £48 in my pocket. Same thing happened today, got to work and put £2 in and came away with £20. Im not saying Im addicted like i used to be, and I cant do what i used to do, for financal reasons. I just dont make the few grand a month that i used to do! But all my promises seem to be slipping!
JAMES YOU IDIOT! lets recap what those were...
1. no suicide attempts...
2. no more gambling on the fruit machines
3. no more heavy drinking
4. no more drugs
ok, so i technically havent broken promise 1 but ive been really close to it, and 3 and 4 havent really happened, yeah Ive taken a few tokes, like once every year, and Ive been out and drunk til i was out of it, but it happens like once a year. So its ok! Ive learnt my lessons from past experiance and I am not willing to risk falling into the same type of person i used to be!
now, point 5 is that the kitchen at work will officially be opening on the 8th December! I cant wait! Lance has got a good menu put together, and it all seems to be improving at the pub! new coffee machine is in, prices going down over the next few days, we finally have our master key, heaters in the terrace, and the terrace has been cleaned and will be painted next monday. Awnings are going up at some point but not sure when. ummm... COCKTAILS! yes thats right, i will finally be aloud to make cocktails at the pub, just need to price them up and get the stuff for it all! Will also need some glasses, but can use the highballs for now! Also selling sourz so good for the students!
Thats everything covered, point wise, from the last post. I really should get some sleep, wanna get up in the morning to tidy my bedroom, for georgie, and I need to get the christmas decorations down etc. I was going to write about uni, but its complicated, and will do it all in another post, maybe after i sort out what im actually going to do.
Gonna go chill and think of my beautiful, intelligent, sexy girlfriend now :p
Georgie, I LOVE YOU xxx
Peace
Lets start on the main points from the last post!
As of Sunday 16th December 2008 me and Georgie are back together. It was a tough break, as you can tell from my depression stricken posts over the last week or so, but Im even happier then when we we orignally together, which is immense! Her family love me, and my nan seems to accept her, which is weird. But anyway, Her mom is actually letting her stay at mine thursday night, so YAY! I cant wait! So heres me, the happiest guy in the world, blazing my tunes (currently: Wounds - InMe) while sipping on my Diet coke, too happy to sleep at 3:20am.
Next point was that me and Georgie are still friends with JJ, which is good, just because you break up with someone, it shouldnt mean you should stop speaking to them. Yes I know i disappear for a few weeks and dont speak to my ex's after we spilt up, but after the wounds heal I will still be their friends. Im not sure what Georgie thinks about me and Megan still being close friends, Its been quite awkward, especially on halloween. But they both seemed to find a safe ground today when i had them both at my pub. I really should introduce Laura to Georgie, not sure what Laura would say about that, but I havent spoken, let alone seen laura in quite a while. We get on well, given whats happened between us, but she seems to be distancing herself from me.
Point three was Scotts 21st Birthday last tuesday. I went with Demi and had a really great time, despite the lack of money! Maybe it was the fact that we were all in the gloc that made up for it? Me and Demi had left by 9pm, and scott was on his way to getting legless. Lee was there as well, and from what ive heard I dont think scott could walk home! well, anyway, Congrats Scott!
Now for the main point! I know one of my "change my life" promises a few years ago was no more slot machines... well... I went to work last monday, had a fiver on me! Decided to put a quid in the new machine, and i won about £15, so i put a few more quid in... and won again and again and again. At the end of the night I had £48 in my pocket. Same thing happened today, got to work and put £2 in and came away with £20. Im not saying Im addicted like i used to be, and I cant do what i used to do, for financal reasons. I just dont make the few grand a month that i used to do! But all my promises seem to be slipping!
JAMES YOU IDIOT! lets recap what those were...
1. no suicide attempts...
2. no more gambling on the fruit machines
3. no more heavy drinking
4. no more drugs
ok, so i technically havent broken promise 1 but ive been really close to it, and 3 and 4 havent really happened, yeah Ive taken a few tokes, like once every year, and Ive been out and drunk til i was out of it, but it happens like once a year. So its ok! Ive learnt my lessons from past experiance and I am not willing to risk falling into the same type of person i used to be!
now, point 5 is that the kitchen at work will officially be opening on the 8th December! I cant wait! Lance has got a good menu put together, and it all seems to be improving at the pub! new coffee machine is in, prices going down over the next few days, we finally have our master key, heaters in the terrace, and the terrace has been cleaned and will be painted next monday. Awnings are going up at some point but not sure when. ummm... COCKTAILS! yes thats right, i will finally be aloud to make cocktails at the pub, just need to price them up and get the stuff for it all! Will also need some glasses, but can use the highballs for now! Also selling sourz so good for the students!
Thats everything covered, point wise, from the last post. I really should get some sleep, wanna get up in the morning to tidy my bedroom, for georgie, and I need to get the christmas decorations down etc. I was going to write about uni, but its complicated, and will do it all in another post, maybe after i sort out what im actually going to do.
Gonna go chill and think of my beautiful, intelligent, sexy girlfriend now :p
Georgie, I LOVE YOU xxx
Peace
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
the pain has gone!
ok, this is a really quick post, but... heres the low down!
Thats it for the run down, i will get time to write, in detail, but busy and havent slept in 43 hours!!!
- Me and Georgie are back together.. today is day 2 !!!
- She and me are still friends with JJ
- Scotts 21st Birthday today, party at Gloc, really good
- Won £50 on the slots at work yesterday!
- kitchen opens on the 8th at work!
Thats it for the run down, i will get time to write, in detail, but busy and havent slept in 43 hours!!!
Saturday, 15 November 2008
when will it stop hurting?
honestly though... I just dont know how to feel anymore! I still love her, and it fucking hurts! The smallest things are reminding me of her, like at work, she visited me and was sat at a table, and i look at the table and it reminds me of her, and walking down the street, and every little fucking thing i do reminds me of something about her!!! I think these lyrics tell it all
I keep playing that song, it wasnt ours, and i never played it around her, but... you know...
I've just lost all feeling, Ive gone numb inside. And seeing her so happy with "him" just makes it even more painful. The way shes changed her myspace name and pic, and her msn name, and the removing of some stuff on hey myspace and bebo and whatnot... Its all just boiling up inside of me and i dont know whats gonna happen when it releases. I know my promise, and I'm trying to keep to it, i swear!
NOthing much else is happening in my life! Ive decided that im failing university, and need to decide if i should buckle down and actually start doing some work, or fuck it all and work full time. Both have their benefits and their downfalls, and in this state I dont want to make any rash decisions. Plus, with work i have been offered the assistant manager's position, yet again, so i just dont know!
My sleeping pattern is fucked, i been smoking alot more, and ive lost connection to alot of friends over the past week! Yeah, when you see me I look like im fine, well its all total bullshit! inside im broken, and its not gonna fix itself over night! She's torn me apart, and i feel worse then death at the moment!
And todays tunage is...... Lostprophets - Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances and messed up chances)
I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,
But it always comes out wrong,
I think a part of you still loves me,
Even though we're moving on.
Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me,
Always all ways...
And I'm sorry for what happened,
But I want you there to see,
That I'm changing all my actions,
I don't wanna set you free.
Always, all ways I want to see you through
Always, all ways me and you
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah, I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...
Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
And I'll wait here for you,
Give me answers, give me through,
I will wait...
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...
Always, all ways
I keep playing that song, it wasnt ours, and i never played it around her, but... you know...
I've just lost all feeling, Ive gone numb inside. And seeing her so happy with "him" just makes it even more painful. The way shes changed her myspace name and pic, and her msn name, and the removing of some stuff on hey myspace and bebo and whatnot... Its all just boiling up inside of me and i dont know whats gonna happen when it releases. I know my promise, and I'm trying to keep to it, i swear!
NOthing much else is happening in my life! Ive decided that im failing university, and need to decide if i should buckle down and actually start doing some work, or fuck it all and work full time. Both have their benefits and their downfalls, and in this state I dont want to make any rash decisions. Plus, with work i have been offered the assistant manager's position, yet again, so i just dont know!
My sleeping pattern is fucked, i been smoking alot more, and ive lost connection to alot of friends over the past week! Yeah, when you see me I look like im fine, well its all total bullshit! inside im broken, and its not gonna fix itself over night! She's torn me apart, and i feel worse then death at the moment!
And todays tunage is...... Lostprophets - Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances and messed up chances)
Sunday, 9 November 2008
bye bye happy heart
Well, thats all for this episode.... haha.... sorry, trying to cheer myself up! me and Georgie split up! shes been acting weird for the past few days, and what with the stuff on the last post, i sent her a text asking what was going on, and everything, and we split up. Im not as bad as i thought i would be, but it still hurts inside!
not 5 minutes after we broke up she text me saying her and Jamie were going out, and wanted to know if it was ok with me. Why would i care? yeah i feel broken inside but shes single, she can do what she wants! We are still gonna be friends, and like everyone keeps telling me, theres plenty more fish in the sea!
Im refusing to talk any more about it... its getting me down! Pool was good today, got there at 1pm, booked a table for 3 hours and played a few good games, Krissy, Paul and Bo showed up at half past one, and we all had a laugh, left around 3 ish and walked around, bo and paul went home, then me and krissy walked to the bus stop, while waiting for the bus I got a call and Nat, and andrew and big jamie were on their way to colours so we went back and continued playing til about 7pm. All in all it was fun.. the whole dumping thing happened on the bus on the way home... so it put a spoiler on it all... but yeah...
Gotta go and ring Krissy now...
Peace
not 5 minutes after we broke up she text me saying her and Jamie were going out, and wanted to know if it was ok with me. Why would i care? yeah i feel broken inside but shes single, she can do what she wants! We are still gonna be friends, and like everyone keeps telling me, theres plenty more fish in the sea!
Im refusing to talk any more about it... its getting me down! Pool was good today, got there at 1pm, booked a table for 3 hours and played a few good games, Krissy, Paul and Bo showed up at half past one, and we all had a laugh, left around 3 ish and walked around, bo and paul went home, then me and krissy walked to the bus stop, while waiting for the bus I got a call and Nat, and andrew and big jamie were on their way to colours so we went back and continued playing til about 7pm. All in all it was fun.. the whole dumping thing happened on the bus on the way home... so it put a spoiler on it all... but yeah...
Gotta go and ring Krissy now...
Peace
Im confuzzled...
Ok, so yeah, we all know Im madly, deeply in love with Georgie, and yes Georgie I know you will read this, but I'm gonna say all this anyway! I found out Jamie (Beths Brother) likes Georgie and that georgie has been speaking to him, and yeah, and I was on bebo this morning and saw all the comments they had been sending each other, and it looks like georgie started the whole thing, with "hints" of webcam shows etc, and messages that just say "luvya" yet she wants to stop saying "love you" to me, her boyfriend, and wants to slow the relationship down?!?!?! Its all confussing me at the moment and i dont know what to do. I also think i saw her making out with Lee on saturday. I know georgie has a tendency to flirt with guys and i lnow lee is a natural flirt as well, but to do something like that in front of me? I've known lee for a very very long time, and i didnt think he would do that to one of his closest friends!
Ok, yeah i know im having a rant here, and i need to get this all off my chest! I've fed up of bottling all my feelings, and we all know what im like when it comes to things like this!
Georgie also asked me what i would do if she dumped me, i looks at her, and she said she was only joking, i dont take asking things like that as a joke! Im really scared for our relationship, and yeah, im sat here shaking while im typing this!
She just really confuses me and I havent got a clue whats going on any more! this fucking hurts! One minute she will be all lovey dovey, holding hands, loads of cuddles and kisses etc, then she changes and is flirting with every guy apart from her boyfriend. I dont want to loose her, but i dont think i could handle the heartbreak of losing her if she goes with someone else!!!!
Gem, I know your reading this! gimmee some damn advice!!!!
Georgie, i really love you xxxxxxxxxx
Anyway... Im going to Rileys with Nat, Panda, Andrew and some other people!
Peace!
Ok, yeah i know im having a rant here, and i need to get this all off my chest! I've fed up of bottling all my feelings, and we all know what im like when it comes to things like this!
Georgie also asked me what i would do if she dumped me, i looks at her, and she said she was only joking, i dont take asking things like that as a joke! Im really scared for our relationship, and yeah, im sat here shaking while im typing this!
She just really confuses me and I havent got a clue whats going on any more! this fucking hurts! One minute she will be all lovey dovey, holding hands, loads of cuddles and kisses etc, then she changes and is flirting with every guy apart from her boyfriend. I dont want to loose her, but i dont think i could handle the heartbreak of losing her if she goes with someone else!!!!
Gem, I know your reading this! gimmee some damn advice!!!!
Georgie, i really love you xxxxxxxxxx
Anyway... Im going to Rileys with Nat, Panda, Andrew and some other people!
Peace!
Friday, 7 November 2008
Blissful thoughts
Its so fun being in love... I thought I'd forgotten what it feels like, but just sitting here on my bed, thinking of Georgie, and no, before you ask... not THOSE thoughts! Just general, like how she takes my hand in hers as we walk, and how she looks up slightly at me as we hug, and that cute smile she has. I just go light headed, and it makes everything feel so much better. She really has given me a reason to care about something. And believe it or not, shes been a great influence on me quiting smoking. Yes, I've relapsed today and had about 15, but last sunday i went the whole day and only had 2 cigarettes, and i didnt even see Georgie that day! And most days, im down to about 8 or 10. Now compared to the 25 odd i chain smoke in a day, i think im doing really well. It also helps that Ive got this damn cold thats been going around!
Not much else happening really. Uni is going as per usual, Same as work, but we have got a Chef in and the kitchen should be opening on the 4th December, so that will all be good. Getting a coffee machine in, and smirnoff vodka, and gordons Gin, so YAY... Meeting up with Rahim and Louise tomorrow evening! gonna go for a few drinks, and catch up!
I will most more later as and when :p
YAY's for being in love!
Not much else happening really. Uni is going as per usual, Same as work, but we have got a Chef in and the kitchen should be opening on the 4th December, so that will all be good. Getting a coffee machine in, and smirnoff vodka, and gordons Gin, so YAY... Meeting up with Rahim and Louise tomorrow evening! gonna go for a few drinks, and catch up!
I will most more later as and when :p
YAY's for being in love!
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Halloween Parties
The last weekend has been great to be honest! Went round Georgies on thursday for a family halloween party, plus it was our one week anniversary. we chilled, had one or two drinks, and basically just relaxed. was all fun! and being our big one week anniversary me and georgie... went up to her room... together... and celebrated! hehehehe...
Friday was the best night by far! I went round to Georgies in the morning, and we went into town, and i picked up my wages from work, then went to sainsburys for some alcohol and we then went to beths for a halloween "gathering" lol... Had so much fun that night, got kicked out of beths around 7 ish, and we went to Dene Road park, where we drank and were merry lol... Then nat showed up and spent alot of the night making out with Georgie, which.. umm... was very enjoyable! lol... I also ended up doing it next to paul and matilda in a secluded part of the park, which felt weird, but was fun until everyone started walking over! bloody annoying kids!
Anyway, Georgie came back to mine that night, and we were home by 10pm, which is fine by me! I'll give you one guess what we spent the entire night doing!!! countless times... then the nympho fell to sleep before me! lmfao, not that i mind, but if shes a nympho and fell to sleep on me, what does that make me? hehehehe... we woke up at 7am, and were at it again... and delayed going into town til 1pm... got chips, did a bit of shopping and then met up with everyone. Alot of people werent there, and we didnt stay long. We both went back to Georgies where we watched some anime, had dinner, her parents went out... so we... yeah, you guessed it... hehehe
We've both been like rabbits this week end! and im not complaining hehehehe
Georgie I love you xxxxx
Friday was the best night by far! I went round to Georgies in the morning, and we went into town, and i picked up my wages from work, then went to sainsburys for some alcohol and we then went to beths for a halloween "gathering" lol... Had so much fun that night, got kicked out of beths around 7 ish, and we went to Dene Road park, where we drank and were merry lol... Then nat showed up and spent alot of the night making out with Georgie, which.. umm... was very enjoyable! lol... I also ended up doing it next to paul and matilda in a secluded part of the park, which felt weird, but was fun until everyone started walking over! bloody annoying kids!
Anyway, Georgie came back to mine that night, and we were home by 10pm, which is fine by me! I'll give you one guess what we spent the entire night doing!!! countless times... then the nympho fell to sleep before me! lmfao, not that i mind, but if shes a nympho and fell to sleep on me, what does that make me? hehehehe... we woke up at 7am, and were at it again... and delayed going into town til 1pm... got chips, did a bit of shopping and then met up with everyone. Alot of people werent there, and we didnt stay long. We both went back to Georgies where we watched some anime, had dinner, her parents went out... so we... yeah, you guessed it... hehehe
We've both been like rabbits this week end! and im not complaining hehehehe
Georgie I love you xxxxx
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
smooth sailing
ok, so me and Georgie have sorted things out from last saturday at the gig... and tomorrow is our 1 week anniversary... i know, its nothing big... but oh well...
Got a party at hers tomorrow, then on friday we are both going to Beths "all nighter"... its not a party, shes not allowed parties... its a gathering of like minded individuals... with alcohol, fancy dress, and loud music! hehehe... the best thing of all is that friday night Georgie is staying at mine! My nan is actually letting me have a female round! After the whole megan incident i didnt think she would... but of course... im not telling my nan her age... all she knows is that she lives in Iffley and works at matalan! lol.... its basically the truth!
Ive got such a big grin on my face right now! me and georgie in an actual bed... with handcuffs, and alcohol fueled passion all night long!!! will be such a great time!! its gonna fucking rock!!
I really need to ummm.... "make up" for the last time me and georgie... umm.. yeah.... wont go into details... but you know when a guy hasnt... in a while.... and... it happens way too quickly... well yeah... bummer! For someone who calls a quicky a 2 - 3 hour session.... it was terrible... i felt like shit! and really need to make it up to her! so friday night... yeah, you get the picture... candle light, soft music... and hand cuffs!!!
On other news, i really need to catch up on some uni work! been falling behind ever so slightly, but its nothing i cant handle! lol....
And todays tunage is...... The Spill Canvas - Caterpillars
Got a party at hers tomorrow, then on friday we are both going to Beths "all nighter"... its not a party, shes not allowed parties... its a gathering of like minded individuals... with alcohol, fancy dress, and loud music! hehehe... the best thing of all is that friday night Georgie is staying at mine! My nan is actually letting me have a female round! After the whole megan incident i didnt think she would... but of course... im not telling my nan her age... all she knows is that she lives in Iffley and works at matalan! lol.... its basically the truth!
Ive got such a big grin on my face right now! me and georgie in an actual bed... with handcuffs, and alcohol fueled passion all night long!!! will be such a great time!! its gonna fucking rock!!
I really need to ummm.... "make up" for the last time me and georgie... umm.. yeah.... wont go into details... but you know when a guy hasnt... in a while.... and... it happens way too quickly... well yeah... bummer! For someone who calls a quicky a 2 - 3 hour session.... it was terrible... i felt like shit! and really need to make it up to her! so friday night... yeah, you get the picture... candle light, soft music... and hand cuffs!!!
On other news, i really need to catch up on some uni work! been falling behind ever so slightly, but its nothing i cant handle! lol....
And todays tunage is...... The Spill Canvas - Caterpillars
Sunday, 26 October 2008
HELP ME!
I dont know what to do! I actually asked Georgie out, and she said yes, hence the last post! and its been less then a week, and shes already had her tongue down Camron's throat... in front of me, groped at least 3 other guys... and its really hit me hard....
I will start from the beginning, Everything was great this morning, work up, showered and went into town. met with Georgie, and the gang, and everything was fine! Yeah, Georgie was flirting with other guys, but knowing her past, i thought it would take some time for her to settle down, which i understand, but after, me, her, beth and jamie went to Carling Academy to see kids in glass houses (which btw was great) we got in, checked in my bags adn coat etc, and went over to stand in the front, by this time camron, mitchell, and Jebus are all there, along with Georgie's ex, William, and her sister Heather. I go to the bar to grab a drink, and when i come back, all i see is georgie with her tongue down camrons throat... I just didnt know what to do, i downed a whole can of carling (ironic really, given the place) run to the back, and collapse to the floor crying.
I just didnt know what to do, it has been less then a week since we've been together, and shes cheating on me already! I was gonna leave, right then, screw the money i spent on the ticket! i walked back over, cos i had jamjam's ticket for his bag i checked in for him, and told him... but he said georgie was really upset and i should speak to her. so yeah, gulable me did, i ended up staying, and no, she didnt kiss any other guys, but she was grabbing jamjam and jebus in the crotch, "playing" with them... and theres me, her boyfriend just standing there! it all stopped about half way through the gig, and it actually wasnt that bad, but i could tell something was up, she was just hugging me, and standing there, and yeah... something was wrong. Im still not entirly sure.
I found out that her mom knows about me and her, via her bebo page. and despite the worries we had, her mom is fine about it. Now its just her dad to tell. we will see how that goes, in the meantime, we are chatting on msn, and i dont know what to do... do i trust her, stay with her, and hope its a one off? or do i dump her and try to get over the best girl i have ever met, ever!... there is a thrid option, and its proberly the easiest way out, but im not contemplating that one....
I really really really fucking love her, i just dont know what to think at the moment!
I will start from the beginning, Everything was great this morning, work up, showered and went into town. met with Georgie, and the gang, and everything was fine! Yeah, Georgie was flirting with other guys, but knowing her past, i thought it would take some time for her to settle down, which i understand, but after, me, her, beth and jamie went to Carling Academy to see kids in glass houses (which btw was great) we got in, checked in my bags adn coat etc, and went over to stand in the front, by this time camron, mitchell, and Jebus are all there, along with Georgie's ex, William, and her sister Heather. I go to the bar to grab a drink, and when i come back, all i see is georgie with her tongue down camrons throat... I just didnt know what to do, i downed a whole can of carling (ironic really, given the place) run to the back, and collapse to the floor crying.
I just didnt know what to do, it has been less then a week since we've been together, and shes cheating on me already! I was gonna leave, right then, screw the money i spent on the ticket! i walked back over, cos i had jamjam's ticket for his bag i checked in for him, and told him... but he said georgie was really upset and i should speak to her. so yeah, gulable me did, i ended up staying, and no, she didnt kiss any other guys, but she was grabbing jamjam and jebus in the crotch, "playing" with them... and theres me, her boyfriend just standing there! it all stopped about half way through the gig, and it actually wasnt that bad, but i could tell something was up, she was just hugging me, and standing there, and yeah... something was wrong. Im still not entirly sure.
I found out that her mom knows about me and her, via her bebo page. and despite the worries we had, her mom is fine about it. Now its just her dad to tell. we will see how that goes, in the meantime, we are chatting on msn, and i dont know what to do... do i trust her, stay with her, and hope its a one off? or do i dump her and try to get over the best girl i have ever met, ever!... there is a thrid option, and its proberly the easiest way out, but im not contemplating that one....
I really really really fucking love her, i just dont know what to think at the moment!
Friday, 24 October 2008
I NEED sex...
with my beautiful, attractive, smart, intelligent, fiesty, nypho, hot new girlfriend, Georgina
like right now.....
like right now.....
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
Pure Bliss
OK, so she hasnt broken up with Ian, and she has alot to think about. Is she really going to commit herself to me, after so many years of cheating on guys, sleeping behind her boyfriends back, and generally "playing the game"??? for the love of god i hope she does, and choses to "settle down" with me. After last thursday, i went and got really really pissed at beths, and yeah.... but we spoke the other day on bebo, then on msn... and we met today, and spent a few hours messing around, shopping, kising, chatting etc... and it felt so natural, we've really connected, after such a short time of knowing each other. If this was happening to two friends, i'd call it "true love" and Georgie has come out and actually said she truely loves me. She spent some time explaining why it was so hard, that she never ever had true emotions for any of her previous "guy friends" but she said that all the emotions shes been feeling for me were real, and not being faked, and it scared her. Which i totally understand, and i suppose if i was in her shoes i would of freaked as well.
Anyway, shes made me a happy bunny again, and I will give her the time she needs to sort things out. god, i cant stop smiling! recieved an email about relationships, and at the end of it was this...
and yeah... I think that totally explains itself! On my way home from Georgie, a poem popped into my head, god knows why. These sorts of things havent happened in years... but here it is
Ive also fallen in love with the tune of the day... and ive finally got the motavation to do some work on my website... bout bloody time, i know!
more later! Peace
And todays tunage is...... Story of the year - Anthem of our dying day
Anyway, shes made me a happy bunny again, and I will give her the time she needs to sort things out. god, i cant stop smiling! recieved an email about relationships, and at the end of it was this...
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ...
it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.
and yeah... I think that totally explains itself! On my way home from Georgie, a poem popped into my head, god knows why. These sorts of things havent happened in years... but here it is
A butterfly without wings
it cannot fly
emotional things
by and by
Ive also fallen in love with the tune of the day... and ive finally got the motavation to do some work on my website... bout bloody time, i know!
more later! Peace
And todays tunage is...... Story of the year - Anthem of our dying day
Thursday, 16 October 2008
the "NEW" poem
I wrote a poem, which is basically almost finished for Georgie... but screw it... im shattered inside, and shes not having it! you can all have this one instead!
she broke my heart
im dead inside
emotions boiling over
i just wanna hide
how should i feel
what should i do
you end it with me
when i say "i love you"
goodbye world
im gonna hide
from all of you
crawl inside
Relationships suck
i wanna die
fuck them all
All good bye
always happens to me!
I have to stop falling in love! Its just way too painful! Just been speaking to Georgie... and shes basically said that she always cheats on guys and always will and doesnt want to be my girlfriend, not that ive actually asked her out, but she wants an open relationship, and I just dont know what to think any more... shes wanting to go out with Ian cos he wants an open relationship, and so does she. Im really depressed now.... and no, before anyone asks... i promised... so i wont!
is so hard to hold back the tears right now.... Im just never gonna show interest in anyone... ever again... im fed up in falling for the girl i cant have! like the say... better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.
screw town on saturday... im not going in! just gonna go straight to work! and fuck them all! fuck life!
Im out....
is so hard to hold back the tears right now.... Im just never gonna show interest in anyone... ever again... im fed up in falling for the girl i cant have! like the say... better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.
screw town on saturday... im not going in! just gonna go straight to work! and fuck them all! fuck life!
Im out....
I've fallen for her....
Yeah, OK... I usually shy away from relationships, and go all shy and clammy, and run away when an attractive girl talks to me, maybe that's why I haven't had many relationships, let alone the fact that half the time I'm too... umm.... un-confident... is that a word? anyway.... Yeah, I have no confidence when it comes to girls, but its all changed! I can actually speak to Georgie... and she listens, no matter how stupid, inconsequential or pointless, the thing I have to say is. And I find that a very good feature... along with her stunningly good looks, her intelligence, and the nymphomaniac part of her.. hehehe....
I wasn't going to see her today, but I finished uni at 1:30, and asked her if I could met her after shes finished seeing Ian. And she said yes, so we met up, Ian was still there... so we walked Ian to the bus stop, and he got on the bus and went home, which left me and Georgie together, alone, for an hour or two! hehehe...
So we walked through Iffley village, sat on the bench by the green that leads to the river. Its a very secluded place, and great when its dark like it was! After a while of kissing, and playing, and me teasing her till shes moaning in my ears... we actually did something... I'm not going into a lot of detail here, and I know! I don't plan to! lol! well... you know how it is, one thing leads to another... We didn't have much time, but it was the best time Ive had in a very very long time! I just cant stop smiling! I just wish we had more time, and a warm bed! Im really going to have to speak to my nan and convince her its a good idea to let me have a female friend round the house! hehehehe
well, I meeting Georgie tomorrow before she has work, and on Saturday, then again on Sunday when I finish work! I cant wait!!! Shes really changed who I am, Im actually not paying attention to any other girls now, and Ive started writing my poetry again, which is great! Working on a piece for her right now, but not sure if i should show her or not? maybe i will!
Love you Georgie!
I wasn't going to see her today, but I finished uni at 1:30, and asked her if I could met her after shes finished seeing Ian. And she said yes, so we met up, Ian was still there... so we walked Ian to the bus stop, and he got on the bus and went home, which left me and Georgie together, alone, for an hour or two! hehehe...
So we walked through Iffley village, sat on the bench by the green that leads to the river. Its a very secluded place, and great when its dark like it was! After a while of kissing, and playing, and me teasing her till shes moaning in my ears... we actually did something... I'm not going into a lot of detail here, and I know! I don't plan to! lol! well... you know how it is, one thing leads to another... We didn't have much time, but it was the best time Ive had in a very very long time! I just cant stop smiling! I just wish we had more time, and a warm bed! Im really going to have to speak to my nan and convince her its a good idea to let me have a female friend round the house! hehehehe
well, I meeting Georgie tomorrow before she has work, and on Saturday, then again on Sunday when I finish work! I cant wait!!! Shes really changed who I am, Im actually not paying attention to any other girls now, and Ive started writing my poetry again, which is great! Working on a piece for her right now, but not sure if i should show her or not? maybe i will!
Love you Georgie!
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
mmmmm..... this girl......
yeah yeah, I know I said i would post more often.... well umm.. I dont have an excuse, and I dont need one! I do believe Im am the most happiest person in the whole entire world! I havent felt like this in such a long long time, and its all thanks to Georgina... We havent known each other that long, but we are like soul mates, today we were finishing each others sentences, and reading each others minds and yeah... its perfect! Plus she lives in Oxford, and works, and we have the same friends, and yeah! she like rocks!
Shes some what of a nymphomaniac, which doesnt bother me in the slightest! its actually pretty good! we spent a few hours together in florence park today, and was so much fun! Im not gonna go into detail about what happened! I will keep it to myself thanks! God, can i really be in love? After what happened with Alison, and then with laura, and megan.... I didnt think i'd be this happy with someone ever again, finally my life is improving, and all for the better!
Georgie is sooooo adorable, shes smart, and clever, and inteligent, and so god damn sexy! The way she smiles, and the twinkle in her eyes as she looks at me, the way she cuddles me, it just all makes me feel whole again!
ok, so i will stop going on about it.... I was actually here to write about other stuff as well, HONEST! At uni, ken (lecturer for programming) gave us our second assignment last week, so everyone has been working really hard on it, but yesterday he sends an email, and it turns out we are doing the wrong assignment. and we have this other one to do! Totally sucks! At least the deadline has extended fori t, so we have the time to do it!
Patrick is leaving the pub tomorrow, its been good working for him but he is a tight arsed bastard! The new manager, Rahim's replacement is Ron, hes a good guy and the new owners have said we can do whatever we like with the pub as long as it doesnt cost them anything, so gonna start doing cheaper drinks, and promo nights, get some DJ's in, Kareoke, poker nights and the like. Should all turn out to be a good investment. I know i said i would leave after Rahim did, but with all this going on, Im going to stay for a while!
not much other news really.... Gonna go think about Georgie... i mean.... do my uni work! lol
More later
And todays tunage is...... Theory of a deadman - All or nothing
Shes some what of a nymphomaniac, which doesnt bother me in the slightest! its actually pretty good! we spent a few hours together in florence park today, and was so much fun! Im not gonna go into detail about what happened! I will keep it to myself thanks! God, can i really be in love? After what happened with Alison, and then with laura, and megan.... I didnt think i'd be this happy with someone ever again, finally my life is improving, and all for the better!
Georgie is sooooo adorable, shes smart, and clever, and inteligent, and so god damn sexy! The way she smiles, and the twinkle in her eyes as she looks at me, the way she cuddles me, it just all makes me feel whole again!
ok, so i will stop going on about it.... I was actually here to write about other stuff as well, HONEST! At uni, ken (lecturer for programming) gave us our second assignment last week, so everyone has been working really hard on it, but yesterday he sends an email, and it turns out we are doing the wrong assignment. and we have this other one to do! Totally sucks! At least the deadline has extended fori t, so we have the time to do it!
Patrick is leaving the pub tomorrow, its been good working for him but he is a tight arsed bastard! The new manager, Rahim's replacement is Ron, hes a good guy and the new owners have said we can do whatever we like with the pub as long as it doesnt cost them anything, so gonna start doing cheaper drinks, and promo nights, get some DJ's in, Kareoke, poker nights and the like. Should all turn out to be a good investment. I know i said i would leave after Rahim did, but with all this going on, Im going to stay for a while!
not much other news really.... Gonna go think about Georgie... i mean.... do my uni work! lol
More later
And todays tunage is...... Theory of a deadman - All or nothing
Sunday, 21 September 2008
2 days before uni
There are many professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power. Among this limited group of humanitarians I would consider teachers, nurses, bookstore owners, and bartenders.Gregory McAllister, "Icons"
Well, its Sunday 21st of September and Im back at university on Tuesday. I really cant wait for it! I know that makes me sound like a nerd or teachers pet, but working full time, with no social life to speak of really does get boring after a month or two. It will be nice to meet up with the guys and relax a bit.
As with work, Rahim, my boss, will be leaving on the 28th and the new manager will be starting this Wednesday. Im not sure how its going to go, but im going to keep an open mind on it. I never planned on staying there, but i may do for the time being, plus Gemma doesnt want me to leave, and I do like her hehe....
Friday I also went and got myself a brand new mobile. I am now the proud owner of a Sony Ericsson C902. Its not a bad phone, with web access, a 5mp camera, video calling, etc etc, and all on contract for just £30 a month, with 600 mins and unlimited texts.
In other news, Ive made a great website for the saturday gang... and im in the process of improving it, but it looks really good. Ive also made a website for Chinky and his story. which will be quite good once its finished.
Zack and megan have split up, and megan seems to be getting closer to me know, Im not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I still love her but we both know that a relationship will never work. I will see how things go on. Apart from this, nothing much else has happened. Been doing a lot of reading, decorating, working etc.. all the usual stuff for boring old James.
Will post more later, when i get the time and let you all know how uni goes!
Peace
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Im single
The last 3 months have been really hectic, so i would like to appologize to the people that dont read my blog! My birthday went well enough, I went down to laura's for a week, then she came up to mine for 12 days. I went to Thorpe park while i was down there, and went on all the big rides etc... On my actual birthday me, Rahim, Laura and Louise went to the new Jamie Oliver resturant on High St and all had a great time. the food there was really really good, and at a resonable price! I also had sex! yeah, being in a relationship, that sounds like a small thing, but its the second time since we got back together in febuary. more on this later on...
I've sorted out university, and hopefully I will only have to do the first semester as Stage 1, then will move onto stage 2 in the second semester. So thats all in place, also sorted out my student loan, which i will be getting on the 22nd Sept. Got most of my debts sorted, cancelled my Accident insurance, which i just didnt need and hopefully everything will be back on track, at least financially, after i start uni!
back to the laura thing... We were speaking today, and ive been wondering for a while why im still with her, its like weve been drifting apart since we got back together last feb. She stopped kissing me, andhugging me, and we never showed our love to each other, and the long distance thing just got me down and down and down... So we broke up an hour ago over msn. Im not saying i dont love her, cos she means the world to me, and i still have feelings for her, there just different feelings then the ones i was having a year ago. Like i told her, its nothing to do with her... for the most part anyway, I just cant cope with not seeing her, and feel at the moment i would be better off single. It really hurts knowing that you have someone there, but cant see them, or hold them, etc... and the lack of showing love when we are together puts me down as well. I can count the number of times we have hugged or properly kissed on one hand, and we have only had sex twice since we got back together. Its things like this that make a relationship work. I can handle the arguements, and to some point, the not seeing each other that often, if only we showed each other how much we missed each other when we do see each other. This is what makes a relationship work... not seeing each other once every other month, and then acting like we see each other every day. Laura had also come down with genital warts, so i had myself tested and got the all clear, this also started bringing things into my mind, was she cheating on me etc. I know you can have them and not show any symptoms for upto 8 months and all that, but i must question it.
It all just got too much in the end, I need to consentrate on work and uni, and i cant spend every second thinking about things like this.
There really isnt any other major news... Got 2 new girls at work, Gemma I get on with really really well, and Eli, I will be working with her this weekend. Its Robin's Birthday on friday, so we are having a BBQ tomorrow for him, he's been getting help with his drinking problem and it seems to be working, but like i kep reminding my nan, for how long? we will see...
I promice to write sooner this time! so that all my avid readers can keep up with the turmoils of my life!
Peace
And todays tunage is...... Delerium - Silence [DJ Tiesto remix]
I've sorted out university, and hopefully I will only have to do the first semester as Stage 1, then will move onto stage 2 in the second semester. So thats all in place, also sorted out my student loan, which i will be getting on the 22nd Sept. Got most of my debts sorted, cancelled my Accident insurance, which i just didnt need and hopefully everything will be back on track, at least financially, after i start uni!
back to the laura thing... We were speaking today, and ive been wondering for a while why im still with her, its like weve been drifting apart since we got back together last feb. She stopped kissing me, andhugging me, and we never showed our love to each other, and the long distance thing just got me down and down and down... So we broke up an hour ago over msn. Im not saying i dont love her, cos she means the world to me, and i still have feelings for her, there just different feelings then the ones i was having a year ago. Like i told her, its nothing to do with her... for the most part anyway, I just cant cope with not seeing her, and feel at the moment i would be better off single. It really hurts knowing that you have someone there, but cant see them, or hold them, etc... and the lack of showing love when we are together puts me down as well. I can count the number of times we have hugged or properly kissed on one hand, and we have only had sex twice since we got back together. Its things like this that make a relationship work. I can handle the arguements, and to some point, the not seeing each other that often, if only we showed each other how much we missed each other when we do see each other. This is what makes a relationship work... not seeing each other once every other month, and then acting like we see each other every day. Laura had also come down with genital warts, so i had myself tested and got the all clear, this also started bringing things into my mind, was she cheating on me etc. I know you can have them and not show any symptoms for upto 8 months and all that, but i must question it.
It all just got too much in the end, I need to consentrate on work and uni, and i cant spend every second thinking about things like this.
There really isnt any other major news... Got 2 new girls at work, Gemma I get on with really really well, and Eli, I will be working with her this weekend. Its Robin's Birthday on friday, so we are having a BBQ tomorrow for him, he's been getting help with his drinking problem and it seems to be working, but like i kep reminding my nan, for how long? we will see...
I promice to write sooner this time! so that all my avid readers can keep up with the turmoils of my life!
Peace
And todays tunage is...... Delerium - Silence [DJ Tiesto remix]
Monday, 26 May 2008
and the shit continues
Hey, Its Bank Holiday Monday, just dropped Laura off at the train station, and i feel like shit! Im just fed up with EVERYTHING! with laura, with work, with uni, with family, with money problems, with my nan, with every tiny little part of my pathetic life... I just dont know what to do any more!
As much as I love laura, every time she comes up to visit, which is near on every week or two, I just feel that i cant be myself, and chill out. I dont go into town to meet my friends, my nan constantly moans at me, my cigarettes last only half as long, which means i have to end up borrowing money, which i get moaned at about even more, and all my money seems to disappear! admittedly, im not taking her for meals etc, shes paying for them, at least for the last few months. Its just... oh I dont know... she doesnt show she loves me, Im one of those clingy people, I like just laying in bed cuddling, holding hands, kissing, and I mean prperly kissing, not the laura kissing which is just a peck on the lips, the lack of sex, gone well over 2 months now... and the distance doesnt help anything! and every time shes up here shes got something wrong with her. Yeah I know shes proberly going through alot, shes back on anti-depressants etc, but I dont need to hear about it every week, I've got my own problems to sort out.... Theres so much more i could go on about, but i just cant be bothered any more...
With work its not so bad, Its like when me and Rahim had the fight never happened... and all is good, give or take the new assisstant manager. He's taken over lou's job, and I'm sorry but hes shit. He's a good barman, but hes really lazy and has never had a supervisors job before, let alone assisstant manager, he cant take a joke half the time, and is just generally not cut out for the job! I should of taken the damn job offer!!! It would of gotten me away from my nan and out of this stupid mess!
Saying that... life isnt bad at home, all my bills are paid for, and internet, telephone, food etc is all free, its just the incandessent, constant moaning at every single thing i do! With my depression at an all time low, I dont need my nan moaning at me 24/7
Money wise, Im only £200 over my £1000 overdraft! and I still got £1500 on my debt to pay! plus what I owe my nan for the previous god knows how many years! but everything else is fine, give or take the lack of money! gonna go look for a well paid job, dont care what its doing!
Hmm... lets see about uni... got a meeting tomorrow with Anne Becker, shes the head of department for my course, and will be discussing about what happens because Ive definitly failed this year, not that I've told any of my family, or my nan! I'm hoping to resit over summer, or at least take the failed modules along side the second year. Im just not sure! well we will see what happens tomorrow!
There really is so much more i could moan about, i just dont have the energy to continue, so Im signing out and crashing!
Peace
As much as I love laura, every time she comes up to visit, which is near on every week or two, I just feel that i cant be myself, and chill out. I dont go into town to meet my friends, my nan constantly moans at me, my cigarettes last only half as long, which means i have to end up borrowing money, which i get moaned at about even more, and all my money seems to disappear! admittedly, im not taking her for meals etc, shes paying for them, at least for the last few months. Its just... oh I dont know... she doesnt show she loves me, Im one of those clingy people, I like just laying in bed cuddling, holding hands, kissing, and I mean prperly kissing, not the laura kissing which is just a peck on the lips, the lack of sex, gone well over 2 months now... and the distance doesnt help anything! and every time shes up here shes got something wrong with her. Yeah I know shes proberly going through alot, shes back on anti-depressants etc, but I dont need to hear about it every week, I've got my own problems to sort out.... Theres so much more i could go on about, but i just cant be bothered any more...
With work its not so bad, Its like when me and Rahim had the fight never happened... and all is good, give or take the new assisstant manager. He's taken over lou's job, and I'm sorry but hes shit. He's a good barman, but hes really lazy and has never had a supervisors job before, let alone assisstant manager, he cant take a joke half the time, and is just generally not cut out for the job! I should of taken the damn job offer!!! It would of gotten me away from my nan and out of this stupid mess!
Saying that... life isnt bad at home, all my bills are paid for, and internet, telephone, food etc is all free, its just the incandessent, constant moaning at every single thing i do! With my depression at an all time low, I dont need my nan moaning at me 24/7
Money wise, Im only £200 over my £1000 overdraft! and I still got £1500 on my debt to pay! plus what I owe my nan for the previous god knows how many years! but everything else is fine, give or take the lack of money! gonna go look for a well paid job, dont care what its doing!
Hmm... lets see about uni... got a meeting tomorrow with Anne Becker, shes the head of department for my course, and will be discussing about what happens because Ive definitly failed this year, not that I've told any of my family, or my nan! I'm hoping to resit over summer, or at least take the failed modules along side the second year. Im just not sure! well we will see what happens tomorrow!
There really is so much more i could moan about, i just dont have the energy to continue, so Im signing out and crashing!
Peace
Friday, 16 May 2008
Occam's Razor
as stated... "entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem" was just listening to the song Occam's Razor by 30 seconds to mars, and its struck me... the meaning of Occam's razor... you all know im into this sci-fi, techno, babbling, meaning of the universe stuff... so anyway entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem", or "entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity" absolutly makes sense...
just a short one for tongiht, me tired!
Peace x
just a short one for tongiht, me tired!
Peace x
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
The moment has gone
With blood shot eyes, I watch you sleeping
The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes things better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
The moments died, I hear no screaming
The visions left inside me are slowly fading
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes it better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
This battered room I've seen before
The broken bones they heal no more, no more
With my last breath I'm choking
Will this ever end I'm hoping
My world is over one more time
Let's go!
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes it better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come
Back!
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes things better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
The moments died, I hear no screaming
The visions left inside me are slowly fading
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes it better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
This battered room I've seen before
The broken bones they heal no more, no more
With my last breath I'm choking
Will this ever end I'm hoping
My world is over one more time
Let's go!
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me makes it better?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come
Back!
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscience calls, too guilty to come home
Yeah... been two months, and what a damn fucked up two months its been! I think the lyrics above represent my current state of mind.. need i say more? Robin (thats my dad) has "quit" drinking yet again, and as usual the family seem to think he means it... we will see! apart from that, Im really feeling down with not being near Laura, its kinda upsetting, and its making me think about things like why i'm with her, what happened in previous relationships to to make me like this, and generally about how much I fucking love her! I also didnt work last weekend cos of Laura's birthday, she came up for five whole days, we chilled out, went ice skating, went out drinking etc... all good! I had an exam last Saturday, then me and the guys went to the Red Lion, which used to be the Goose, in town. Had a few pints, got myself a tiny bit tipsy, went onto coke two hours before i was meant to start work, just to sober myself up. Went into work at 2:30pm, to start at 3:30pm, and Rahim (the general manager) knew i had been drinking, we had a big fight about how i was there to get something to eat before i started, sober up type of thing, he told me to go home and come back sober, i told him to fuck off and walked out. I wasn't in the mood, I would of been fine to work! anyway...
Met Nat in town that day, chilled with the guys down by the river in Christ Church, all good fun!!!!
Really need to sort out whats going on with uni! gonna go in on Monday, and try to speak to someone! I know I've failed! I've hopefully passed three modules out of the eight, and we need to pass six to pass the year. I'm hoping they let me resit over summer or next year.
I went into work today and spoke to Rahim, we both said sorry... blah blah blah... hugged... I almost broke down, actually talked to someone about all my problems... which felt good, even if it was really hard to do! Just need to find something constructive to sort my problems out with...
Got a new craving for 30 seconds to mars, and Bullet for my valentine! Especially "todays tunage" lyrics of which are the ones up there^^
Anyways.... I'm gonna go chill out now! Peace!
And todays tunage is...... Bullet for my Valentine - Tears don't fall
Saturday, 22 March 2008
life goes on...
Been reading quite a bit recently.. the usual sci-fi stuff etc, but ive switched authors and been reading Dan Simmons. I've read his first book, "Ilium" and it just took me away, it was all very interesting and Im now on his second book, "Olympos". But this isnt the reason im writing today, its to discuss Brane theory and the likes. Now I know theres not many people out there that will even have a vague understanding in it, but its along the lines of parallel worlds, quantum physics, and the ilk.
The book im reading doesnt go into much detail behind the theory of it, but it got me looking into it, and its all plausable. The idea is that there is a 5th dimension. We all know about our usual 3 dimensions, and time being the 4th dimension, but with Brane theory, it states there is a 5th dimension that represents multiple "parallel" universes. It also puts a new theory to the big bang. They are now saying that the big bang was caused by 2 Brane universe's hitting each other that caused the great erruption of power to cause the big bang. Im gonna have to read alot more on it, and go over alot more articles on the subject, but i dont see why this cant be fact. Its hard to believe in another dimension, let alone parallel worlds etc, and we all know how i wander off subject... but i love this stuff! this is science fiction becoming science fact! And we all know how quickly things can change in the lines of science. It was less then 30 years ago that Bill Gates stated that no one would need more then 640kb for a computer application. Well Moore's Law proved that wrong! along with people thinking the world was flat, Einstein (E=MC2), Darwin (Evolution), Newton (Gravity), Sagan (SETI). All these people took fiction and turned it to fact. Why cant it happen again?
On other news, Laura is up for 5 whole days, came up last Wednesday and going home on Monday. Not that I've seen much with her, saw her for a few hours yesterday, and shes staying at mine tonight, but not coming round til 5pm. Thats if she does. Im fed up really, this is the fourth time shes meant to be staying at mine in 5 weeks, and guess what... it will be the first! the other 3 times shes always cancelled on me, and its starting to annoy me! Its like she cares more about being at Jo's then she does about seeing her own boyfriend! I'm sure shes got her reasons, but im fed up of orginizing things around her, then her changing her mind at the last minute! I mean, shes here for 5 whole days and nights, and shes only staying at mine one night? Which was meant to be 2 originally. bleh.....
Saw 2 guys on guitars in town yesterday, one singing, and they were really really good. Kinda old school acoustic sound. Chill out songs, like Hallelujah, and cannonball by Damien Rice, and Give me a reason to love you by Portishead. They were that good i actually brought their CD!
And todays tunage is...... Peter Strakos - Give me a reason to love you / Easy
The book im reading doesnt go into much detail behind the theory of it, but it got me looking into it, and its all plausable. The idea is that there is a 5th dimension. We all know about our usual 3 dimensions, and time being the 4th dimension, but with Brane theory, it states there is a 5th dimension that represents multiple "parallel" universes. It also puts a new theory to the big bang. They are now saying that the big bang was caused by 2 Brane universe's hitting each other that caused the great erruption of power to cause the big bang. Im gonna have to read alot more on it, and go over alot more articles on the subject, but i dont see why this cant be fact. Its hard to believe in another dimension, let alone parallel worlds etc, and we all know how i wander off subject... but i love this stuff! this is science fiction becoming science fact! And we all know how quickly things can change in the lines of science. It was less then 30 years ago that Bill Gates stated that no one would need more then 640kb for a computer application. Well Moore's Law proved that wrong! along with people thinking the world was flat, Einstein (E=MC2), Darwin (Evolution), Newton (Gravity), Sagan (SETI). All these people took fiction and turned it to fact. Why cant it happen again?
On other news, Laura is up for 5 whole days, came up last Wednesday and going home on Monday. Not that I've seen much with her, saw her for a few hours yesterday, and shes staying at mine tonight, but not coming round til 5pm. Thats if she does. Im fed up really, this is the fourth time shes meant to be staying at mine in 5 weeks, and guess what... it will be the first! the other 3 times shes always cancelled on me, and its starting to annoy me! Its like she cares more about being at Jo's then she does about seeing her own boyfriend! I'm sure shes got her reasons, but im fed up of orginizing things around her, then her changing her mind at the last minute! I mean, shes here for 5 whole days and nights, and shes only staying at mine one night? Which was meant to be 2 originally. bleh.....
Saw 2 guys on guitars in town yesterday, one singing, and they were really really good. Kinda old school acoustic sound. Chill out songs, like Hallelujah, and cannonball by Damien Rice, and Give me a reason to love you by Portishead. They were that good i actually brought their CD!
And todays tunage is...... Peter Strakos - Give me a reason to love you / Easy
Friday, 15 February 2008
well its valentines day
So its Thursday Febuary 14th and I've actually recieved a Valentines card! Theres a first for everything I suppose. Its from Laura, and it really did put a smile on my face when i opened it! I sent her card out, along with a Single red rose! Yeah I know what your thinking, cheap bastard only sending a single rose. But this is a large, single rose, with a Diamante pin, in a glass vase, and cost me £25 it was also my last £25 which means Im skint til froday which is fine by me, Laura is worth every penny of it!
Maybe I should state first the I ended it with megan, and am now going back out with Laura? just so as not to confuse you all? lmfao
I never really stopped loving laura, and as much as i thought I loved Megan, Im sure I was just using her to rebound my heartache from missing Laura. Its hard to explain, its like... umm... oh I dont know. But Megan was fine with it all, and she wanted to end it as well anyway, so we are still friends which is good. It just wasnt working out, with my work and uni, her school and not being able to tell anyone cos of the age gap, and not being able to go to either of our houses etc... It was putting a big strain on it all. Well, im back with Laura now and im as happy as a depressed suicidal goth can be.... lol! not that im THAT depressed, or suicidal any more! Mostly, my life is back on track, just need to sort out my debts, that are slowly getting less and less, sort out medical stuff... and generally crack on with uni.
Work is going well, and we finally had our Christmas party last night! We all met at work, had a few drinks there then headed off to Pizza Express for dinner. I had the usual, Dough balls for starters, and Diavolo pizza for the main. Had a bottle of Chianti as well. We then all headed off to Thirst for a few drinks. All in all it was a good night, with a taxi home after.
on the gaming front, Ive finally brought Guitar hero 3, minus the wireless guitar, and its actually not that bad! also got assassins creed. Its not the top notch game its made out to be, but its good fun! Started playing more DoD again, which has been enjoyable, especially with my new computer (Zeus) and its really great! been modding windows most of the time, sorting it out into a semi decent system, just need to sort a few more things out, like formatting my old hard drive, and building my server and hooking it up to the network!
Off to bed now, working all this weekend, which im not complaining about as I need the money!
Maybe I should state first the I ended it with megan, and am now going back out with Laura? just so as not to confuse you all? lmfao
I never really stopped loving laura, and as much as i thought I loved Megan, Im sure I was just using her to rebound my heartache from missing Laura. Its hard to explain, its like... umm... oh I dont know. But Megan was fine with it all, and she wanted to end it as well anyway, so we are still friends which is good. It just wasnt working out, with my work and uni, her school and not being able to tell anyone cos of the age gap, and not being able to go to either of our houses etc... It was putting a big strain on it all. Well, im back with Laura now and im as happy as a depressed suicidal goth can be.... lol! not that im THAT depressed, or suicidal any more! Mostly, my life is back on track, just need to sort out my debts, that are slowly getting less and less, sort out medical stuff... and generally crack on with uni.
Work is going well, and we finally had our Christmas party last night! We all met at work, had a few drinks there then headed off to Pizza Express for dinner. I had the usual, Dough balls for starters, and Diavolo pizza for the main. Had a bottle of Chianti as well. We then all headed off to Thirst for a few drinks. All in all it was a good night, with a taxi home after.
on the gaming front, Ive finally brought Guitar hero 3, minus the wireless guitar, and its actually not that bad! also got assassins creed. Its not the top notch game its made out to be, but its good fun! Started playing more DoD again, which has been enjoyable, especially with my new computer (Zeus) and its really great! been modding windows most of the time, sorting it out into a semi decent system, just need to sort a few more things out, like formatting my old hard drive, and building my server and hooking it up to the network!
Off to bed now, working all this weekend, which im not complaining about as I need the money!
Monday, 4 February 2008
Lost track of time...
So its now 2008... firstly Happy new year, and I hope you all had a better christmas then i did! Ok, so we all know Im scrouge when it comes to christmas, I hate it! more so then other things im not about to mention! Luckily there went many family problems... which is a plus!
New years eve I went to a party at Beth's. I also dragged Zack, Lottie, and Megan along as I was told to bring who I wanted! Let me just explain... Beth is a friend Lewis introduced me to. Lew and beth speak online and beth has a xbox 360 and when i got mine lewis gave me her addy so i had someone to play with online! now, we all know about zack and lottie, and lewis and megan. The thing is, Beth also invited Lewis, who brought Lee and our sister Stacey(who btw... cant handle her drink... my birthday... need i say more?) Now Beth happens to live just round the corner from me, but even scarier, i know her mom and dad as they both drink in trhe Gloc! Scary! Plus one of beths friends that were there was a guy i spent some time with via job centre doing a 2 week course... Also a ton of the saturday lot were there, which was great!
Anyway... back to the point! around 11pm new years eve... Megan throws up, sick everywhere, but its in the back garden, so all kool! I take her drink off her, get some water, and take her for a walk to get some air! ohh... and btw... alot of people were smoking weed as well... including megan... anyway... I end up taking megan for a walk, to clear her system etc... like you should after you've been sick... But we end up in the park, with me laid on the wet floor and her ontop of me... not that im complaining... lol.... .She ended up coming back to mine... with zack and lottie... and yeah.... ok..... Problem is, my nan found out, got freaked... said i treat this place like a whore house... cos i had sex with a girl? how the fuck does she expect me to live a normal live if i cant bring back a girl? Especially seeming as Im single at the time... Im not gonna get into any of it.... cant be bothered and its all too complicated to explain on here!
In other news... I spent last night at Gemma's which was great fun! alcohol, chinese etc... and I met Melanie, which is Gemma's cousin's girlfriend. Gemma's cousin is Carl, the one who is over in Iraq at the moment... But anyway... shes a nice girl, and I know how much trouble Carl went to asking her out! lol! Leah has also grown up alot! speaking even better now, and shes also started school! Gemma has lost alot of weight, and looking great as ever! Also helped carl sort his computer out!
Been playing Assassins creed and Guitar hero 3 alot! they are both great! also got a figure thingy with Assassin's creed. It was the limited edition box set thing! its great! lol!
Also brought a ton of stuff recently... to finally build a new computer! we are speaking...
AMD Athlon 64 X2 6400+ (3.2GHz Dual core)
Asus M2N-E SLI nForce 500 Mobo
2Gb Corsair DDR2-PC6400 ram (800MHz)
400Gb Seagate Baracuda SATA HDD
Black / Silver Wizard Case - with 25cm side LED fan & 12cm front LED fan
600watt PSU with silent 12cm fan
Almost finished building it... will post when im finished!
And todays tunage is...... Dragonforce - Through the fire and flames (Guitar Hero 3)
New years eve I went to a party at Beth's. I also dragged Zack, Lottie, and Megan along as I was told to bring who I wanted! Let me just explain... Beth is a friend Lewis introduced me to. Lew and beth speak online and beth has a xbox 360 and when i got mine lewis gave me her addy so i had someone to play with online! now, we all know about zack and lottie, and lewis and megan. The thing is, Beth also invited Lewis, who brought Lee and our sister Stacey(who btw... cant handle her drink... my birthday... need i say more?) Now Beth happens to live just round the corner from me, but even scarier, i know her mom and dad as they both drink in trhe Gloc! Scary! Plus one of beths friends that were there was a guy i spent some time with via job centre doing a 2 week course... Also a ton of the saturday lot were there, which was great!
Anyway... back to the point! around 11pm new years eve... Megan throws up, sick everywhere, but its in the back garden, so all kool! I take her drink off her, get some water, and take her for a walk to get some air! ohh... and btw... alot of people were smoking weed as well... including megan... anyway... I end up taking megan for a walk, to clear her system etc... like you should after you've been sick... But we end up in the park, with me laid on the wet floor and her ontop of me... not that im complaining... lol.... .She ended up coming back to mine... with zack and lottie... and yeah.... ok..... Problem is, my nan found out, got freaked... said i treat this place like a whore house... cos i had sex with a girl? how the fuck does she expect me to live a normal live if i cant bring back a girl? Especially seeming as Im single at the time... Im not gonna get into any of it.... cant be bothered and its all too complicated to explain on here!
In other news... I spent last night at Gemma's which was great fun! alcohol, chinese etc... and I met Melanie, which is Gemma's cousin's girlfriend. Gemma's cousin is Carl, the one who is over in Iraq at the moment... But anyway... shes a nice girl, and I know how much trouble Carl went to asking her out! lol! Leah has also grown up alot! speaking even better now, and shes also started school! Gemma has lost alot of weight, and looking great as ever! Also helped carl sort his computer out!
Been playing Assassins creed and Guitar hero 3 alot! they are both great! also got a figure thingy with Assassin's creed. It was the limited edition box set thing! its great! lol!
Also brought a ton of stuff recently... to finally build a new computer! we are speaking...
AMD Athlon 64 X2 6400+ (3.2GHz Dual core)
Asus M2N-E SLI nForce 500 Mobo
2Gb Corsair DDR2-PC6400 ram (800MHz)
400Gb Seagate Baracuda SATA HDD
Black / Silver Wizard Case - with 25cm side LED fan & 12cm front LED fan
600watt PSU with silent 12cm fan
Almost finished building it... will post when im finished!
And todays tunage is...... Dragonforce - Through the fire and flames (Guitar Hero 3)
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