smooth sailing

ok, so me and Georgie have sorted things out from last saturday at the gig... and tomorrow is our 1 week anniversary... i know, its nothing big... but oh well...

Got a party at hers tomorrow, then on friday we are both going to Beths "all nighter"... its not a party, shes not allowed parties... its a gathering of like minded individuals... with alcohol, fancy dress, and loud music! hehehe... the best thing of all is that friday night Georgie is staying at mine! My nan is actually letting me have a female round! After the whole megan incident i didnt think she would... but of course... im not telling my nan her age... all she knows is that she lives in Iffley and works at matalan! lol.... its basically the truth!

Ive got such a big grin on my face right now! me and georgie in an actual bed... with handcuffs, and alcohol fueled passion all night long!!! will be such a great time!! its gonna fucking rock!!

I really need to ummm.... "make up" for the last time me and georgie... umm.. yeah.... wont go into details... but you know when a guy hasnt... in a while.... and... it happens way too quickly... well yeah... bummer! For someone who calls a quicky a 2 - 3 hour session.... it was terrible... i felt like shit! and really need to make it up to her! so friday night... yeah, you get the picture... candle light, soft music... and hand cuffs!!!

On other news, i really need to catch up on some uni work! been falling behind ever so slightly, but its nothing i cant handle! lol....


And todays tunage is...... The Spill Canvas - Caterpillars

HELP ME!

I dont know what to do! I actually asked Georgie out, and she said yes, hence the last post! and its been less then a week, and shes already had her tongue down Camron's throat... in front of me, groped at least 3 other guys... and its really hit me hard....

I will start from the beginning, Everything was great this morning, work up, showered and went into town. met with Georgie, and the gang, and everything was fine! Yeah, Georgie was flirting with other guys, but knowing her past, i thought it would take some time for her to settle down, which i understand, but after, me, her, beth and jamie went to Carling Academy to see kids in glass houses (which btw was great) we got in, checked in my bags adn coat etc, and went over to stand in the front, by this time camron, mitchell, and Jebus are all there, along with Georgie's ex, William, and her sister Heather. I go to the bar to grab a drink, and when i come back, all i see is georgie with her tongue down camrons throat... I just didnt know what to do, i downed a whole can of carling (ironic really, given the place) run to the back, and collapse to the floor crying.

I just didnt know what to do, it has been less then a week since we've been together, and shes cheating on me already! I was gonna leave, right then, screw the money i spent on the ticket! i walked back over, cos i had jamjam's ticket for his bag i checked in for him, and told him... but he said georgie was really upset and i should speak to her. so yeah, gulable me did, i ended up staying, and no, she didnt kiss any other guys, but she was grabbing jamjam and jebus in the crotch, "playing" with them... and theres me, her boyfriend just standing there! it all stopped about half way through the gig, and it actually wasnt that bad, but i could tell something was up, she was just hugging me, and standing there, and yeah... something was wrong. Im still not entirly sure.

I found out that her mom knows about me and her, via her bebo page. and despite the worries we had, her mom is fine about it. Now its just her dad to tell. we will see how that goes, in the meantime, we are chatting on msn, and i dont know what to do... do i trust her, stay with her, and hope its a one off? or do i dump her and try to get over the best girl i have ever met, ever!... there is a thrid option, and its proberly the easiest way out, but im not contemplating that one....

I really really really fucking love her, i just dont know what to think at the moment!

I NEED sex...

with my beautiful, attractive, smart, intelligent, fiesty, nypho, hot new girlfriend, Georgina

like right now.....

Pure Bliss

OK, so she hasnt broken up with Ian, and she has alot to think about. Is she really going to commit herself to me, after so many years of cheating on guys, sleeping behind her boyfriends back, and generally "playing the game"??? for the love of god i hope she does, and choses to "settle down" with me. After last thursday, i went and got really really pissed at beths, and yeah.... but we spoke the other day on bebo, then on msn... and we met today, and spent a few hours messing around, shopping, kising, chatting etc... and it felt so natural, we've really connected, after such a short time of knowing each other. If this was happening to two friends, i'd call it "true love" and Georgie has come out and actually said she truely loves me. She spent some time explaining why it was so hard, that she never ever had true emotions for any of her previous "guy friends" but she said that all the emotions shes been feeling for me were real, and not being faked, and it scared her. Which i totally understand, and i suppose if i was in her shoes i would of freaked as well.

Anyway, shes made me a happy bunny again, and I will give her the time she needs to sort things out. god, i cant stop smiling! recieved an email about relationships, and at the end of it was this...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ...

it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind

but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

and yeah... I think that totally explains itself! On my way home from Georgie, a poem popped into my head, god knows why. These sorts of things havent happened in years... but here it is

A butterfly without wings
it cannot fly
emotional things
by and by

Ive also fallen in love with the tune of the day... and ive finally got the motavation to do some work on my website... bout bloody time, i know!

more later! Peace


And todays tunage is...... Story of the year - Anthem of our dying day

the "NEW" poem

I wrote a poem, which is basically almost finished for Georgie... but screw it... im shattered inside, and shes not having it! you can all have this one instead!

she broke my heart
im dead inside
emotions boiling over
i just wanna hide

how should i feel
what should i do
you end it with me
when i say "i love you"

goodbye world
im gonna hide
from all of you
crawl inside

Relationships suck
i wanna die
fuck them all
All good bye

always happens to me!

I have to stop falling in love! Its just way too painful! Just been speaking to Georgie... and shes basically said that she always cheats on guys and always will and doesnt want to be my girlfriend, not that ive actually asked her out, but she wants an open relationship, and I just dont know what to think any more... shes wanting to go out with Ian cos he wants an open relationship, and so does she. Im really depressed now.... and no, before anyone asks... i promised... so i wont!

is so hard to hold back the tears right now.... Im just never gonna show interest in anyone... ever again... im fed up in falling for the girl i cant have! like the say... better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.

screw town on saturday... im not going in! just gonna go straight to work! and fuck them all! fuck life!

Im out....

I've fallen for her....

Yeah, OK... I usually shy away from relationships, and go all shy and clammy, and run away when an attractive girl talks to me, maybe that's why I haven't had many relationships, let alone the fact that half the time I'm too... umm.... un-confident... is that a word? anyway.... Yeah, I have no confidence when it comes to girls, but its all changed! I can actually speak to Georgie... and she listens, no matter how stupid, inconsequential or pointless, the thing I have to say is. And I find that a very good feature... along with her stunningly good looks, her intelligence, and the nymphomaniac part of her.. hehehe....

I wasn't going to see her today, but I finished uni at 1:30, and asked her if I could met her after shes finished seeing Ian. And she said yes, so we met up, Ian was still there... so we walked Ian to the bus stop, and he got on the bus and went home, which left me and Georgie together, alone, for an hour or two! hehehe...

So we walked through Iffley village, sat on the bench by the green that leads to the river. Its a very secluded place, and great when its dark like it was! After a while of kissing, and playing, and me teasing her till shes moaning in my ears... we actually did something... I'm not going into a lot of detail here, and I know! I don't plan to! lol! well... you know how it is, one thing leads to another... We didn't have much time, but it was the best time Ive had in a very very long time! I just cant stop smiling! I just wish we had more time, and a warm bed! Im really going to have to speak to my nan and convince her its a good idea to let me have a female friend round the house! hehehehe

well, I meeting Georgie tomorrow before she has work, and on Saturday, then again on Sunday when I finish work! I cant wait!!! Shes really changed who I am, Im actually not paying attention to any other girls now, and Ive started writing my poetry again, which is great! Working on a piece for her right now, but not sure if i should show her or not? maybe i will!

Love you Georgie!

mmmmm..... this girl......

yeah yeah, I know I said i would post more often.... well umm.. I dont have an excuse, and I dont need one! I do believe Im am the most happiest person in the whole entire world! I havent felt like this in such a long long time, and its all thanks to Georgina... We havent known each other that long, but we are like soul mates, today we were finishing each others sentences, and reading each others minds and yeah... its perfect! Plus she lives in Oxford, and works, and we have the same friends, and yeah! she like rocks!

Shes some what of a nymphomaniac, which doesnt bother me in the slightest! its actually pretty good! we spent a few hours together in florence park today, and was so much fun! Im not gonna go into detail about what happened! I will keep it to myself thanks! God, can i really be in love? After what happened with Alison, and then with laura, and megan.... I didnt think i'd be this happy with someone ever again, finally my life is improving, and all for the better!

Georgie is sooooo adorable, shes smart, and clever, and inteligent, and so god damn sexy! The way she smiles, and the twinkle in her eyes as she looks at me, the way she cuddles me, it just all makes me feel whole again!

ok, so i will stop going on about it.... I was actually here to write about other stuff as well, HONEST! At uni, ken (lecturer for programming) gave us our second assignment last week, so everyone has been working really hard on it, but yesterday he sends an email, and it turns out we are doing the wrong assignment. and we have this other one to do! Totally sucks! At least the deadline has extended fori t, so we have the time to do it!

Patrick is leaving the pub tomorrow, its been good working for him but he is a tight arsed bastard! The new manager, Rahim's replacement is Ron, hes a good guy and the new owners have said we can do whatever we like with the pub as long as it doesnt cost them anything, so gonna start doing cheaper drinks, and promo nights, get some DJ's in, Kareoke, poker nights and the like. Should all turn out to be a good investment. I know i said i would leave after Rahim did, but with all this going on, Im going to stay for a while!

not much other news really.... Gonna go think about Georgie... i mean.... do my uni work! lol

More later




And todays tunage is...... Theory of a deadman - All or nothing