not interested

Fed up at the moment! And there was me thinking going back to college was going to makeeverything better! Oh well. Im just really bored alot and theres fuck all to do at home! So Ive made a new website for my college course!

CHECK THIS OUT

Gonna put up all the course stuff like hand outs and assignments! Should help me out as well as the others. Apart from going over college stuff I havent really done much else. Spoke to Lottie today, and Im not gonna ask her out, it will ruin our friendship and whatever... her words, not mine. But I can see where shes coming from. I mean, we been friends for so long, it would be ashame to start dating, fall out and ruin the friendship.

Went to the docs yesterday, had my boil syringed and drained. Now it feels so much better, and i can actually sleep at night. Ive also been refered to the dermatologist, so that will be good. finally getting my life sorted, just need to sort out my social life. haha... what social life? god i need one!

the joys of a wednesday at college!

College is going really well at the moment. Still think they are letting us get used to the ystem and what not before they go full on with the lessons, but thats ok! Went and signed off jobseekers so I can apply for ALG (adult learners grant) thats the adult version of EMA!Also picked up a form for financial assistance so I can get my bus pass for free and got my NUS card! The NUS card is really different from when I was last at college! Before it used to be the same as our student ID but now I need a seperate card and the one I got doesnt even get me discount! it just proves Im a member of the student union! I need to pay an extra £10 to get the NUS card that lets me get discount! The girl who sorted my card for me was really cute as well! think shes got a boyfriend anyway lol! and I want Lottie.. so... yeah! but she liked me, so she said, and asked me if I wanted to join the student union and actually sit on the union! so Im considering it, I could prove helpful!

As with other college stuff I have to keep another damn blog for my classes and you can see it HERE!

After Lottie reading my blog and not wondering if she wasstillspeaking to me I texted her today! and we been texting back and forth all day! lol! Im so glad we are still talking, not that the subject of my love for her came up! I will give it time.

Im nakered now so Im gonna sit back, relax and chill out!

more laters!

And todays tunage is...... Saliva - Your disease

ohhh.... college

Well that was a nice calm day for my first day at college!The course seems pretty fun. Today we did study skills with Victoria and wrote about ourselves which was boring. Apparently I wrote the best letter shes seen in years. WHATEVER! lol Then we had Information systems with Beth. This was a lil more fun as we sat around making a database on microsoft access. Ive used it before, i mean, GOD! I use it to store everyones contact details and email and address and numbers in! lol! So didnt learn anything new, but i think they are just touching base, to see what we actually know, and starting off with easy things.

Tomorrow I have computer applications with Victoria then programming with Lionel. Havent met Lionel yet, but programming should be fun! Also need to speak to victoria and get my enrolment form off her so I can go get my student ID and pay and sort out my travel pass and what not!

On wednesday we have IT core skills and programming again. Not sure what core skills means, but Im hoping it will somewhat involve HTML or something around those lines! On thursday we have PC systems with Gareth, who I also havent met yet! I take it this is around building actual machines and stuff like that. This course is meant to study the whole IT genre. Cant wait for that! Friday is a day off so a nice long weekend! Im not doing the key skills in english and maths so thats also cut down my hours at college. I actually worked it out as 12 and a half hours a week, so I dont see how they can class it as a full time course! although this doesnt include the breaks and lunch!

Im gonna breeze through this! its like so much fun! The guys in my class.. all 10 of us! seem to be cool people! I get along with them, so thats a start. We will see....

In other news....

I havent heard a word about that IT co-ordinator job in Rosehill, According to their website the interviews are today and tomorrow! Why dont employers tell you that you havent got the job? all it takes is a few minutes on the phone, just to say thank you for the application but we dont want you. This has happened so many times to me and it gets annoying! Especially in a job like this, where i was so nervous about having anyway. I mean, this job would of set me up for quite a while. Its in the area I want to work in, and the pay is really good. I never know! they may of been running late and they could phone me any day saying no one else has applied and Ive got the job... without an interview? hehe! And my name is tom! yeah yeah!

And todays tunage is...... Incubus - Stellar

guess where I am!

Guess what? Im sat in college! Im actually writing this during a class! its so cool1 Im so happy Im back at college! After 3 years I thought it was gonna be hard for me to get back nito it, but it seems like its all come back to me! Its great! I'll let you all know how it goes later on!

Peace!

college college college

So I went in for my induction at college today... but the thing is, they got the dates wrong on my letter. My induction was meant to be last friday and was meant to start college last monday, so I've missed a whole week of my college. Luckily I've been told they havent done much because it wasnt just me who got the wrong dates, and the class is only half of what it should be! So instead of starting college on the 29th Im actually going to start this monday!

We also didnt go to alton towers! It got changed to the 17th, but now im at college I cant go! And I really wanna see charlotte! _*cries*_ I really do miss her, and I know its complicated but i cant stop the feeling I have for her! I just wanna ask her out, but i just dont know if i should or not! It could ruin our friendship and thats the last thing i want to do! I cherish our friendship more than anything in the world! plus since shes moved to Winsdor its even worse! I'd ask for advice, but kno one reads thi so that would be useless! Whjat in hell do I do????? I dont wanna talk to anyone about it, cos everyone knows both of us! I cant speak to her mom, jo, so she already thinks theres something going on between me and lottie, not that there is yet... yet? maybe never! Im just not sure! what was that saying? "absince makes the heart grow fonder" well whoever said it was right! damn bastards!

oh well... live goes on and I cant wait for college on monday! still not heard anything bout that job tho! and blah blah blah

Laterz!

to blog or not to blog... that is the question!

Ok now.. Have just been reading my copy of the micro mart magazine (issue number 197) and theres a part in it about blogging. I can see what they are getting at, with some people that have lost their jobs and even fallen out with family members through their blog or website. They also say that hiding your alias and keeping work / personal details to a minimum just so as others cannot work out who you are is a good thing... but then all the juicy gossip is gone? isnt it? I see why some people would choose the anonymity of hiding their personal details, especially these "stars" who have followers in the hundreds of thousands with book deals and thel ike.. but for your average person? say, like me?

I write in here for a way to express myself, not to anyone who visits, cos lets face it.. no one reads this shit, but it lets me express my feelings for myself and others an insight back into my week. Especially if I've been having trouble or been stressed, at the end of the week or month or whatever, i can go back to my blog and look at what i wrote, and work out what made me stressed! Ok, so I dont use my real name, but its on my email address and profile if anyone wanted to know! And if someone did read this then fine! Everyone who knows me personally, knows that i speak my mind and if i feel something i will say it! Yes there are a few people who might be shocked if they read this! ie Lottie and the way I feel for her etc But If they then, after reading this, turn out not to like me, was it really worth me being their friend in the first place?

Out in the "real" world Idont show my emotions very well. Im a recluse and a loner, with few friends, and even fewer "real" friends. And as for speaking about my problems, its just something that i find really hard to do! I think in the whole world, i could maybe, and thats a BIG maybe, i could, possibly, speak to Gem or Lottie about any emotions. That is, as long as it doesnt include them in those emotions. Online I seem to be a different person, in a sence i recon its like having a split personality disorder. Ofline, as mentioned before, im a recluse, a loner, a nobody. Whereas online, Im well likes, have loads of friends and can talk openly about what I want! Is this wrong? Or is it just the consequences of the information age of the 21st century?

This is turning out to be a really long post! hehe! Havent heard about the IT coordinators job yet! the deadline for applications was the 1st and interviews are on the 11th and 12th so I should hear something soon. As for college, I have my induction on Friday. Im really looking forward to it. Cant wait to get back to oxpens! Its going to open up a whole new life for me, with new friends, and all that. At least it will get me out of the house! Its also my great grandmothers 96th birthday tomorrow (umm.. today? *checks time* yup, today) well.. on Wendsday! lol So im going up to hers in the morning with a birthday cake and biscuits and babycham for her and all the people who live in the sheltered house that shes in! No one knows if this will be her last birthday or not, but shes losing it! and she cant walk very far. I know i speak badly of her sometimes, and its her fault for the way she is, but that was all down to her up bringing. Living through two world wars must of been tough! anyway.. I know i speak badly of her sometimes, but I do love her, she is family afterall!

God Im sooooo nervous about this job, yet college hasnt even hit me yet, not nervous about that in one bit! but seeming as Ive been to college before, its not something new to me, so thats proberly why!

Right... enough is enough! gonna go and advertise my blog! hehe!

And todays tunage is...... Sinead O'Connor - Nothing compares to you