Updates

Well, where to begin? It's been a while since I last posted anything, and things have definitely changed quite a bit. Lets rewind back to October and my last post. 

Me and Sarah broke up 3 weeks after my last post. Things were just not working, with my mental and physical problems along with her trying to juggle her mental problems and 2 kids. We've stayed friends though, and still speak on occassion. Fast forward a bit to Christmas, and we had originally made plans for Sarah and the kids to spend Christmas at mine as her parents were going away. The other Sarah from Birmingham was also coming down with her girlfriend, so I was actually going to decorate the place up and cook a big meal etc. But now we broke up, I wasn't sure how Sarah would feel. They were all still welcome Christmas day if they wanted. It turns out that she didn't mind this, so we all had a good Christmas, although the sleeping plans changed slightly. There were a few times that I had to stop myself and remind myself that we had actually broken up. 

Christmas and new year went by fine. It was the first time since my nan passed that I didn't break down. As for benefits, with my DLA stopped and applying for PIP going to shit, I'm still waiting for an appeal date. The sooner that happens the better. With bills mounting up etc I'm finding it hard to struggle money wise. 

There have been a few plus sides in the last few months. I've become really close friends with Charley, and that rekindled friendship has helped a lot emotionally. I'm also finally getting help for my depression and anxiety through Talking Space. Not sure how much help they will actually be, but I have my first telephone appointment with them tomorrow, after waiting over a month to get it sorted. Who know. Only other maybe good thing thats happened recently is that I've become a closer friend to a certain lady. One that I really like, and I don't know what to do about it. I know shes not interested in a relationship at the moment, which I can live with, but its driving me crazy... It doesnt help that me being single is an emotional rollercoaster, along with the need to get laid, is this my mind just latching on to a cute girl that has a lot of the same interests as me? or do I actually like her? In all reality, I think I do really like her, and its not just the being horny and wanting someone. But then, does she like me? Even though I know she doesn't want a relationship, how does she feel about me? Its all just head spinning, and its driving me crazy, not that I was sane to begin with. 

We all know what I'm more than likely going to do, which is absolutely nothing until its too late and Ive lost my chance. I'm used to this, and knowing my luck, I will be single for another 4 years. Anyway... Will try to remember to write more often.

Peace x