yeah....

So, I really cant be fucked with anything anymore! A few major things have happened since I last posted, so will write about that, instead of going on about how numb and depressed I actually am!

Char got back in touch with me recently, and at first, it was good to speak to her again. I never wanted it all to end like it did, and I wanted to be friends, after everything we went through. She was round a few days ago, and we ended up sleeping together. I know, it shouldnt of happened. Yes I still have alot of feelings for her, but after everything... well... yeah! I regretted it the next day, not that I told her, or told anyone else what happened. Yes I love her, but no, it wasnt going to work, and thats mostly my own fault. I need to sort myself out, both physically, and mentally.

Ive also been speaking to Lauren alot more, and she appologized about everything she did to me. Which was a shock, but with everything going on recently, I forgave her a long time ago and moved on. It was all in the past! As of five minutes ago, Char has decided to stop waiting for me to make my mind up on the whole do we / dont we get back together thing. Im not sure how I feel about that :s But I'm really depressed at the moment, so will have to wait and see how I feel about it, after its all settled down!

Went into town yesterday, and caught up with everyone! Was the first time Ive been into town, properly, on a saturday, since before christmas. It was kinda fun, and the whole feeling scared of going out wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. Also went to the Gloc after town, and saw Demi, Eve and Charlie. Was fun, but it kinda felt weird... Me and Demi have drifted apart alot over the last month or so, and its not the same. Im not sure if its to do with me and my depression, or her being with Flatz, and her usual boyfriend comes first routine. Its proberly a bit of both really.

On a positive note, I ran into Janie yesterday! Havent seen her in forever, and was amazing to see her! Also been speaking to Lois alot recently, and its nice to just talk! Taking her out in two weeks for a meal, and then to the pub. Shes been feeling a bit down, and it should cheer us both up! So Im looking forward to that! Got work tomorrow morning, and work is going quite well! Not much else to report on really...

Gonna go bed with a good book, so Night x