Preconceived thoughts?

So, I know its been like 2 months, but ive umm... no, ok, Ive got no excuse! who cares? Anyway! Off to download again in 2 days! cant wait! this year is really gonna be good! Thje only down side is that me being sick, i have no money, what so ever, and yeah, I dont know how im gonna cope, but i will manage!

As with being ill, had a vertual colonoscopy which was inconclusive, so then, a month later had a full one, for which the docs turned round and didnt do due to some complication with the pre preps they gave me not working properly so another one is planned for some point in the future :S Work have also stopped my sick pay and trying to sort out incapacity benefit, or whatever its now called, but work lost my sick notes which i need to send off, so had to get copies of all them :S Anyway, its been posted now! so all good!

As for the title of this post... I umm... I really dont know... Me and charlotte have been going out 3 months this saturday, and yeah, its great, and yeah i love her to bits, but i sometimes think, what would it be like to date someone a bit older? a bit closer to my age? and i know its stupid thinking all this, and im just working myself up for no reason, and despite what she says, it proberly wont last forever, it never does. Her mom absolutly hates me, yet hasnt even met me, my nan hates her, and ok, my nan is old fashioned, and we were a bit loud one time having sex, which i can see her point, and Char does act immature sometimes, or rather, she acts her age, and not the age of someone i should be going out with. Maybe i should worry about her acting like a kid, because she still is a kid? I dunno... I keep seeing things that remind me of my past, of ex girlfriends, and wonder how it would of been if this or that didnt happen and was still with them? Especially when it comes to laura. I mean, what if she didnt miscarry? What if, right now, me and laura had our own place and a 2 year old kid? Im not gonna lie and say im glad where i am, cos sometimes i do wish i was there instead, but i wouldnt change anything. Things happen for a reason, and im not about to question those reasons even if i dont know the reason behind them.

Anyway, Im babbling on here, and i really should try to finish packing for download! Have the guys staying over tomorrow night and then david is driving us all up wednesday morning :p Really will be epic! plus im hopefully meeting up with kitty! which will be cool! hehehehe!

Peace out xxx
And todays tunage is...... Coheed & Cambria - This Shattered Symphony