Lauren asked me yesterday if i loved any of my exs more then i love her at the moment, and im not about to lie to her and told her i did! In a sense its true, I love Laura more then anything, including Lauren (at least for now) in this world! I know what this is starting to sound like, saying you love you ex more then your current girlfriend, but me and laura did go through alot, and Im not about to throw all that away and forget about it. It was a different type of love between me and laura, and i know your reading this lauren, so no tears please, im writing this so you understand it better. This is all too had to actually put into words and speak about...
What me and laura had was magical, but the defining word there is "WAS". What we had will never ever happen again, even between me and lauren. I mean, laura is the one who i lost my virginity with, she was there for me in some very hard times, and she helped me make me who i am. Along with the pregnancy and the miscarrage, It made it something. That sort of love is totally different to the sort of love that me and lauren have. For me at least, the love i have for lauren is more like, heart taken away, and given to her.... rather then the she helped me, we loved and lost together type of love that me and laura had.
In some ways i do love lauren more then i loved laura, like the way i can just sit there and look at lauren, despite her not liking it, hehe... and the way lauren hugs me, and kisses me, etc... me and laura didnt have that, well... not for the entirity of our relationship. Its two totally diferent types of love, and trying to say which one is more or less powerful is hard for me to do.
I hope this explains everything for lauren, and its helped me clear my head a bit!
In other news, we did the deep clean at work last night, got home around 5am this morning, and im about to go to work to do my "management" shift, whereby im gonna sit on my ass, and mess around on my laptop while i let the others get on with it! hehehehe
Will write soon!
Peace
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