me not happy!

so, after my post from yesterday, me and Elly had a long chat, about a lot of things, not that she had read the post yet... but anyway. was speaking to her a few mins ago, and she said she cant meet me tomorrow now :( I feel like shit now! I miss her so fucking much! it really hurts! i wanna work out where this relationship is going.... is she realyl finding excuses not to see me so its easier for her to dump me? if so i wish shed do it. Im not saying i want her to, but this hurts enough already! I really do love her to bits, id do anything in the world for her, and i dont say it to that many people... Theres proberly only 4 people, and shes one of them! She doesnt even say she loves me... i know its a strong word to throw around, but isnt a relationship based on love? if she didnt love me, then why did she say yes when i asked her out? Its all so confusing at the moment, and i dont know if she really is avoiding me, or if its because of her mom. Yes i understand that her mom may go crazy if Elly told her about me, but she could, just as easily say ok to it all. If i was a parent, i would want my kids to be happy, even if it meant dating someone older then them. Is elly even happy with me? Im so confused and depressed and sad now....

enough about that... i know you are wondering why im actually here when its a work night. Well its that fucking dead, ron decided to close when he got back from his football game. He said town was really really quiet as well. So we closed the pub at half past 9 and im now sat at home.

Will write again when something happens!

Peace xxx