Woke up late this morning which meant I didnt have time to go see my favourite girl, but thats ok, cos i went to see Georgie after work, and spent the rest of the night with her! Im hoping to actually wake up semi early and meet her from school tomorrow before i have work at 4pm. Work was actually busy, at least for a sunday. It might have something to do with having Slainte playing, and it being Heath's last gig. He's going back home to new Zealand, thank god! no more annoying bagpipes down cornmarket!!! Dont get me wrong, hes a nice enough guy, but hes a kiwi, playing a scottish instrument, in england as part of an irish band, how more ironic can you get?
Cant wait to see georgie, i still cant stop thinking of her! I absolutly, unquestioningly love her! but on with my blog...
Im that bored, ive actually written a christmas wih list. The problem is, no one can afford anything on it! It comprises of a £350 LCD HD TV, £350 digital SLR D60 Nikon camera, £150 to repair my super computer, £150 for the band bundle of guitar hero: world tour, and £130 for a guitar and amp... ok, so my nan and my uncle are putting money together to actually pay to get my PC repaired, so thats one down. But the rest of my family cant dream of the sort of money to get the other things on my list, maybe its just wishful thinking? if you wanna have a gander at it, then download a copy HERE
I know im scrouge and all, but this will be the first christmas i have ever had when ive had a girlfriend, so im hoping to make it a fun one! I really need to save up so i can buy Georgie's present! Also got her dad something... which is kinda weird! And even if she doesnt like suprises, shes gonna have one! so there! Im not telling her EVERYTHING that shes getting!
gonna go lay in bed now and chill out, and try to get some sleep!
Peace xxx
Monday, 24 November 2008
Saturday, 22 November 2008
nothing else...
Holding you there in my arms
Nothing else matters when Im with you
We can get through it all
No matter what we do
That feeling you get
The love inside of me
When everything is perfect
And we let things be
I feel so outragously happy at the moment! damn it! Its all her fault! hehehehehe...
Georgie stayed at mine last night! I met her from school on thursday, we went to her house and picked up her stuff and went back to mine. It was really great, we watched surfs up, and just chilled out, and had some fun... as you do... it felt like.. umm... its hard to explain! its like we are meant to be together, and fate has drawn us to each other. I feel so at peace, and i really do feel like i want to spend the rest of eternity with Georgie. I can honestly see us settling down, getting a house together, married, with kids etc. not that its gonna happen soon, i want to sort out uni, and money, and give it a year or two before anything remotely starts happening. we will see where things go. But today we went to town and she brought me dinner at noodle bar, and i was sat there, just watching her. Ive been doing that alot, just thinking of nothing, looking at her, and she thinks something is up, but its nothing, i just blank out, and stare into her eyes! they are sooooooo amazing! but anyway, im sat there, gazing at her, thinking of what the engagement ring would look like! And i pictured how i would propose.. having all our friends and family at a big party, christmas or something, not sure what, but going up to the band, taking the microphone, and doing it there, in front of everyone... which is something i would never ever usually do!
Georgie has also started a blog, and its so nice to read her thoughts, its on her bebo! god, why is this happening! I just cant stop thinking of her... im meant to be writing bout my trip to the gloc tonight! but i cant get her out of my thoughts! hehe...
The gloc james... concentrate! hehe...
Ok, me and Georgie were in town, had noodle bar, did some shopping for the pub, and such, then i walked her to the bus stop and after i met up with demi, nat, lee, etc, and we all went to the gloc. Marianna was there as well, and scott showed up after work at around 10:15pm. it was a great night, and im happy that some of the young'ens are now old enough to drink there, even if they did miss the great times of old school gloc! Also ran into Mooney and louise! Havent seen either of them since forever! was so much fun!
Ima go now, and think of the love of my life!
Thursday, 20 November 2008
the "in depth" version
ok, so Im being made to write an "in depth" version, just so the love of my life has something to read! hehe... Here you go Georgie!
Lets start on the main points from the last post!
As of Sunday 16th December 2008 me and Georgie are back together. It was a tough break, as you can tell from my depression stricken posts over the last week or so, but Im even happier then when we we orignally together, which is immense! Her family love me, and my nan seems to accept her, which is weird. But anyway, Her mom is actually letting her stay at mine thursday night, so YAY! I cant wait! So heres me, the happiest guy in the world, blazing my tunes (currently: Wounds - InMe) while sipping on my Diet coke, too happy to sleep at 3:20am.
Next point was that me and Georgie are still friends with JJ, which is good, just because you break up with someone, it shouldnt mean you should stop speaking to them. Yes I know i disappear for a few weeks and dont speak to my ex's after we spilt up, but after the wounds heal I will still be their friends. Im not sure what Georgie thinks about me and Megan still being close friends, Its been quite awkward, especially on halloween. But they both seemed to find a safe ground today when i had them both at my pub. I really should introduce Laura to Georgie, not sure what Laura would say about that, but I havent spoken, let alone seen laura in quite a while. We get on well, given whats happened between us, but she seems to be distancing herself from me.
Point three was Scotts 21st Birthday last tuesday. I went with Demi and had a really great time, despite the lack of money! Maybe it was the fact that we were all in the gloc that made up for it? Me and Demi had left by 9pm, and scott was on his way to getting legless. Lee was there as well, and from what ive heard I dont think scott could walk home! well, anyway, Congrats Scott!
Now for the main point! I know one of my "change my life" promises a few years ago was no more slot machines... well... I went to work last monday, had a fiver on me! Decided to put a quid in the new machine, and i won about £15, so i put a few more quid in... and won again and again and again. At the end of the night I had £48 in my pocket. Same thing happened today, got to work and put £2 in and came away with £20. Im not saying Im addicted like i used to be, and I cant do what i used to do, for financal reasons. I just dont make the few grand a month that i used to do! But all my promises seem to be slipping!
JAMES YOU IDIOT! lets recap what those were...
1. no suicide attempts...
2. no more gambling on the fruit machines
3. no more heavy drinking
4. no more drugs
ok, so i technically havent broken promise 1 but ive been really close to it, and 3 and 4 havent really happened, yeah Ive taken a few tokes, like once every year, and Ive been out and drunk til i was out of it, but it happens like once a year. So its ok! Ive learnt my lessons from past experiance and I am not willing to risk falling into the same type of person i used to be!
now, point 5 is that the kitchen at work will officially be opening on the 8th December! I cant wait! Lance has got a good menu put together, and it all seems to be improving at the pub! new coffee machine is in, prices going down over the next few days, we finally have our master key, heaters in the terrace, and the terrace has been cleaned and will be painted next monday. Awnings are going up at some point but not sure when. ummm... COCKTAILS! yes thats right, i will finally be aloud to make cocktails at the pub, just need to price them up and get the stuff for it all! Will also need some glasses, but can use the highballs for now! Also selling sourz so good for the students!
Thats everything covered, point wise, from the last post. I really should get some sleep, wanna get up in the morning to tidy my bedroom, for georgie, and I need to get the christmas decorations down etc. I was going to write about uni, but its complicated, and will do it all in another post, maybe after i sort out what im actually going to do.
Gonna go chill and think of my beautiful, intelligent, sexy girlfriend now :p
Georgie, I LOVE YOU xxx
Peace
Lets start on the main points from the last post!
As of Sunday 16th December 2008 me and Georgie are back together. It was a tough break, as you can tell from my depression stricken posts over the last week or so, but Im even happier then when we we orignally together, which is immense! Her family love me, and my nan seems to accept her, which is weird. But anyway, Her mom is actually letting her stay at mine thursday night, so YAY! I cant wait! So heres me, the happiest guy in the world, blazing my tunes (currently: Wounds - InMe) while sipping on my Diet coke, too happy to sleep at 3:20am.
Next point was that me and Georgie are still friends with JJ, which is good, just because you break up with someone, it shouldnt mean you should stop speaking to them. Yes I know i disappear for a few weeks and dont speak to my ex's after we spilt up, but after the wounds heal I will still be their friends. Im not sure what Georgie thinks about me and Megan still being close friends, Its been quite awkward, especially on halloween. But they both seemed to find a safe ground today when i had them both at my pub. I really should introduce Laura to Georgie, not sure what Laura would say about that, but I havent spoken, let alone seen laura in quite a while. We get on well, given whats happened between us, but she seems to be distancing herself from me.
Point three was Scotts 21st Birthday last tuesday. I went with Demi and had a really great time, despite the lack of money! Maybe it was the fact that we were all in the gloc that made up for it? Me and Demi had left by 9pm, and scott was on his way to getting legless. Lee was there as well, and from what ive heard I dont think scott could walk home! well, anyway, Congrats Scott!
Now for the main point! I know one of my "change my life" promises a few years ago was no more slot machines... well... I went to work last monday, had a fiver on me! Decided to put a quid in the new machine, and i won about £15, so i put a few more quid in... and won again and again and again. At the end of the night I had £48 in my pocket. Same thing happened today, got to work and put £2 in and came away with £20. Im not saying Im addicted like i used to be, and I cant do what i used to do, for financal reasons. I just dont make the few grand a month that i used to do! But all my promises seem to be slipping!
JAMES YOU IDIOT! lets recap what those were...
1. no suicide attempts...
2. no more gambling on the fruit machines
3. no more heavy drinking
4. no more drugs
ok, so i technically havent broken promise 1 but ive been really close to it, and 3 and 4 havent really happened, yeah Ive taken a few tokes, like once every year, and Ive been out and drunk til i was out of it, but it happens like once a year. So its ok! Ive learnt my lessons from past experiance and I am not willing to risk falling into the same type of person i used to be!
now, point 5 is that the kitchen at work will officially be opening on the 8th December! I cant wait! Lance has got a good menu put together, and it all seems to be improving at the pub! new coffee machine is in, prices going down over the next few days, we finally have our master key, heaters in the terrace, and the terrace has been cleaned and will be painted next monday. Awnings are going up at some point but not sure when. ummm... COCKTAILS! yes thats right, i will finally be aloud to make cocktails at the pub, just need to price them up and get the stuff for it all! Will also need some glasses, but can use the highballs for now! Also selling sourz so good for the students!
Thats everything covered, point wise, from the last post. I really should get some sleep, wanna get up in the morning to tidy my bedroom, for georgie, and I need to get the christmas decorations down etc. I was going to write about uni, but its complicated, and will do it all in another post, maybe after i sort out what im actually going to do.
Gonna go chill and think of my beautiful, intelligent, sexy girlfriend now :p
Georgie, I LOVE YOU xxx
Peace
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
the pain has gone!
ok, this is a really quick post, but... heres the low down!
Thats it for the run down, i will get time to write, in detail, but busy and havent slept in 43 hours!!!
- Me and Georgie are back together.. today is day 2 !!!
- She and me are still friends with JJ
- Scotts 21st Birthday today, party at Gloc, really good
- Won £50 on the slots at work yesterday!
- kitchen opens on the 8th at work!
Thats it for the run down, i will get time to write, in detail, but busy and havent slept in 43 hours!!!
Saturday, 15 November 2008
when will it stop hurting?
honestly though... I just dont know how to feel anymore! I still love her, and it fucking hurts! The smallest things are reminding me of her, like at work, she visited me and was sat at a table, and i look at the table and it reminds me of her, and walking down the street, and every little fucking thing i do reminds me of something about her!!! I think these lyrics tell it all
I keep playing that song, it wasnt ours, and i never played it around her, but... you know...
I've just lost all feeling, Ive gone numb inside. And seeing her so happy with "him" just makes it even more painful. The way shes changed her myspace name and pic, and her msn name, and the removing of some stuff on hey myspace and bebo and whatnot... Its all just boiling up inside of me and i dont know whats gonna happen when it releases. I know my promise, and I'm trying to keep to it, i swear!
NOthing much else is happening in my life! Ive decided that im failing university, and need to decide if i should buckle down and actually start doing some work, or fuck it all and work full time. Both have their benefits and their downfalls, and in this state I dont want to make any rash decisions. Plus, with work i have been offered the assistant manager's position, yet again, so i just dont know!
My sleeping pattern is fucked, i been smoking alot more, and ive lost connection to alot of friends over the past week! Yeah, when you see me I look like im fine, well its all total bullshit! inside im broken, and its not gonna fix itself over night! She's torn me apart, and i feel worse then death at the moment!
And todays tunage is...... Lostprophets - Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances and messed up chances)
I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,
But it always comes out wrong,
I think a part of you still loves me,
Even though we're moving on.
Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me,
Always all ways...
And I'm sorry for what happened,
But I want you there to see,
That I'm changing all my actions,
I don't wanna set you free.
Always, all ways I want to see you through
Always, all ways me and you
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah, I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...
Always, all ways I wanted us to be,
Always, all ways you and me,
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me.
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
And I'll wait here for you,
Give me answers, give me through,
I will wait...
'Cause I'm waiting for you,
Yeah I'm waiting for you,
Give me answers, get me through,
I will wait...
Always, all ways
I keep playing that song, it wasnt ours, and i never played it around her, but... you know...
I've just lost all feeling, Ive gone numb inside. And seeing her so happy with "him" just makes it even more painful. The way shes changed her myspace name and pic, and her msn name, and the removing of some stuff on hey myspace and bebo and whatnot... Its all just boiling up inside of me and i dont know whats gonna happen when it releases. I know my promise, and I'm trying to keep to it, i swear!
NOthing much else is happening in my life! Ive decided that im failing university, and need to decide if i should buckle down and actually start doing some work, or fuck it all and work full time. Both have their benefits and their downfalls, and in this state I dont want to make any rash decisions. Plus, with work i have been offered the assistant manager's position, yet again, so i just dont know!
My sleeping pattern is fucked, i been smoking alot more, and ive lost connection to alot of friends over the past week! Yeah, when you see me I look like im fine, well its all total bullshit! inside im broken, and its not gonna fix itself over night! She's torn me apart, and i feel worse then death at the moment!
And todays tunage is...... Lostprophets - Always All Ways (Apologies, Glances and messed up chances)
Sunday, 9 November 2008
bye bye happy heart
Well, thats all for this episode.... haha.... sorry, trying to cheer myself up! me and Georgie split up! shes been acting weird for the past few days, and what with the stuff on the last post, i sent her a text asking what was going on, and everything, and we split up. Im not as bad as i thought i would be, but it still hurts inside!
not 5 minutes after we broke up she text me saying her and Jamie were going out, and wanted to know if it was ok with me. Why would i care? yeah i feel broken inside but shes single, she can do what she wants! We are still gonna be friends, and like everyone keeps telling me, theres plenty more fish in the sea!
Im refusing to talk any more about it... its getting me down! Pool was good today, got there at 1pm, booked a table for 3 hours and played a few good games, Krissy, Paul and Bo showed up at half past one, and we all had a laugh, left around 3 ish and walked around, bo and paul went home, then me and krissy walked to the bus stop, while waiting for the bus I got a call and Nat, and andrew and big jamie were on their way to colours so we went back and continued playing til about 7pm. All in all it was fun.. the whole dumping thing happened on the bus on the way home... so it put a spoiler on it all... but yeah...
Gotta go and ring Krissy now...
Peace
not 5 minutes after we broke up she text me saying her and Jamie were going out, and wanted to know if it was ok with me. Why would i care? yeah i feel broken inside but shes single, she can do what she wants! We are still gonna be friends, and like everyone keeps telling me, theres plenty more fish in the sea!
Im refusing to talk any more about it... its getting me down! Pool was good today, got there at 1pm, booked a table for 3 hours and played a few good games, Krissy, Paul and Bo showed up at half past one, and we all had a laugh, left around 3 ish and walked around, bo and paul went home, then me and krissy walked to the bus stop, while waiting for the bus I got a call and Nat, and andrew and big jamie were on their way to colours so we went back and continued playing til about 7pm. All in all it was fun.. the whole dumping thing happened on the bus on the way home... so it put a spoiler on it all... but yeah...
Gotta go and ring Krissy now...
Peace
Im confuzzled...
Ok, so yeah, we all know Im madly, deeply in love with Georgie, and yes Georgie I know you will read this, but I'm gonna say all this anyway! I found out Jamie (Beths Brother) likes Georgie and that georgie has been speaking to him, and yeah, and I was on bebo this morning and saw all the comments they had been sending each other, and it looks like georgie started the whole thing, with "hints" of webcam shows etc, and messages that just say "luvya" yet she wants to stop saying "love you" to me, her boyfriend, and wants to slow the relationship down?!?!?! Its all confussing me at the moment and i dont know what to do. I also think i saw her making out with Lee on saturday. I know georgie has a tendency to flirt with guys and i lnow lee is a natural flirt as well, but to do something like that in front of me? I've known lee for a very very long time, and i didnt think he would do that to one of his closest friends!
Ok, yeah i know im having a rant here, and i need to get this all off my chest! I've fed up of bottling all my feelings, and we all know what im like when it comes to things like this!
Georgie also asked me what i would do if she dumped me, i looks at her, and she said she was only joking, i dont take asking things like that as a joke! Im really scared for our relationship, and yeah, im sat here shaking while im typing this!
She just really confuses me and I havent got a clue whats going on any more! this fucking hurts! One minute she will be all lovey dovey, holding hands, loads of cuddles and kisses etc, then she changes and is flirting with every guy apart from her boyfriend. I dont want to loose her, but i dont think i could handle the heartbreak of losing her if she goes with someone else!!!!
Gem, I know your reading this! gimmee some damn advice!!!!
Georgie, i really love you xxxxxxxxxx
Anyway... Im going to Rileys with Nat, Panda, Andrew and some other people!
Peace!
Ok, yeah i know im having a rant here, and i need to get this all off my chest! I've fed up of bottling all my feelings, and we all know what im like when it comes to things like this!
Georgie also asked me what i would do if she dumped me, i looks at her, and she said she was only joking, i dont take asking things like that as a joke! Im really scared for our relationship, and yeah, im sat here shaking while im typing this!
She just really confuses me and I havent got a clue whats going on any more! this fucking hurts! One minute she will be all lovey dovey, holding hands, loads of cuddles and kisses etc, then she changes and is flirting with every guy apart from her boyfriend. I dont want to loose her, but i dont think i could handle the heartbreak of losing her if she goes with someone else!!!!
Gem, I know your reading this! gimmee some damn advice!!!!
Georgie, i really love you xxxxxxxxxx
Anyway... Im going to Rileys with Nat, Panda, Andrew and some other people!
Peace!
Friday, 7 November 2008
Blissful thoughts
Its so fun being in love... I thought I'd forgotten what it feels like, but just sitting here on my bed, thinking of Georgie, and no, before you ask... not THOSE thoughts! Just general, like how she takes my hand in hers as we walk, and how she looks up slightly at me as we hug, and that cute smile she has. I just go light headed, and it makes everything feel so much better. She really has given me a reason to care about something. And believe it or not, shes been a great influence on me quiting smoking. Yes, I've relapsed today and had about 15, but last sunday i went the whole day and only had 2 cigarettes, and i didnt even see Georgie that day! And most days, im down to about 8 or 10. Now compared to the 25 odd i chain smoke in a day, i think im doing really well. It also helps that Ive got this damn cold thats been going around!
Not much else happening really. Uni is going as per usual, Same as work, but we have got a Chef in and the kitchen should be opening on the 4th December, so that will all be good. Getting a coffee machine in, and smirnoff vodka, and gordons Gin, so YAY... Meeting up with Rahim and Louise tomorrow evening! gonna go for a few drinks, and catch up!
I will most more later as and when :p
YAY's for being in love!
Not much else happening really. Uni is going as per usual, Same as work, but we have got a Chef in and the kitchen should be opening on the 4th December, so that will all be good. Getting a coffee machine in, and smirnoff vodka, and gordons Gin, so YAY... Meeting up with Rahim and Louise tomorrow evening! gonna go for a few drinks, and catch up!
I will most more later as and when :p
YAY's for being in love!
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Halloween Parties
The last weekend has been great to be honest! Went round Georgies on thursday for a family halloween party, plus it was our one week anniversary. we chilled, had one or two drinks, and basically just relaxed. was all fun! and being our big one week anniversary me and georgie... went up to her room... together... and celebrated! hehehehe...
Friday was the best night by far! I went round to Georgies in the morning, and we went into town, and i picked up my wages from work, then went to sainsburys for some alcohol and we then went to beths for a halloween "gathering" lol... Had so much fun that night, got kicked out of beths around 7 ish, and we went to Dene Road park, where we drank and were merry lol... Then nat showed up and spent alot of the night making out with Georgie, which.. umm... was very enjoyable! lol... I also ended up doing it next to paul and matilda in a secluded part of the park, which felt weird, but was fun until everyone started walking over! bloody annoying kids!
Anyway, Georgie came back to mine that night, and we were home by 10pm, which is fine by me! I'll give you one guess what we spent the entire night doing!!! countless times... then the nympho fell to sleep before me! lmfao, not that i mind, but if shes a nympho and fell to sleep on me, what does that make me? hehehehe... we woke up at 7am, and were at it again... and delayed going into town til 1pm... got chips, did a bit of shopping and then met up with everyone. Alot of people werent there, and we didnt stay long. We both went back to Georgies where we watched some anime, had dinner, her parents went out... so we... yeah, you guessed it... hehehe
We've both been like rabbits this week end! and im not complaining hehehehe
Georgie I love you xxxxx
Friday was the best night by far! I went round to Georgies in the morning, and we went into town, and i picked up my wages from work, then went to sainsburys for some alcohol and we then went to beths for a halloween "gathering" lol... Had so much fun that night, got kicked out of beths around 7 ish, and we went to Dene Road park, where we drank and were merry lol... Then nat showed up and spent alot of the night making out with Georgie, which.. umm... was very enjoyable! lol... I also ended up doing it next to paul and matilda in a secluded part of the park, which felt weird, but was fun until everyone started walking over! bloody annoying kids!
Anyway, Georgie came back to mine that night, and we were home by 10pm, which is fine by me! I'll give you one guess what we spent the entire night doing!!! countless times... then the nympho fell to sleep before me! lmfao, not that i mind, but if shes a nympho and fell to sleep on me, what does that make me? hehehehe... we woke up at 7am, and were at it again... and delayed going into town til 1pm... got chips, did a bit of shopping and then met up with everyone. Alot of people werent there, and we didnt stay long. We both went back to Georgies where we watched some anime, had dinner, her parents went out... so we... yeah, you guessed it... hehehe
We've both been like rabbits this week end! and im not complaining hehehehe
Georgie I love you xxxxx
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