Im single

The last 3 months have been really hectic, so i would like to appologize to the people that dont read my blog! My birthday went well enough, I went down to laura's for a week, then she came up to mine for 12 days. I went to Thorpe park while i was down there, and went on all the big rides etc... On my actual birthday me, Rahim, Laura and Louise went to the new Jamie Oliver resturant on High St and all had a great time. the food there was really really good, and at a resonable price! I also had sex! yeah, being in a relationship, that sounds like a small thing, but its the second time since we got back together in febuary. more on this later on...

I've sorted out university, and hopefully I will only have to do the first semester as Stage 1, then will move onto stage 2 in the second semester. So thats all in place, also sorted out my student loan, which i will be getting on the 22nd Sept. Got most of my debts sorted, cancelled my Accident insurance, which i just didnt need and hopefully everything will be back on track, at least financially, after i start uni!

back to the laura thing... We were speaking today, and ive been wondering for a while why im still with her, its like weve been drifting apart since we got back together last feb. She stopped kissing me, andhugging me, and we never showed our love to each other, and the long distance thing just got me down and down and down... So we broke up an hour ago over msn. Im not saying i dont love her, cos she means the world to me, and i still have feelings for her, there just different feelings then the ones i was having a year ago. Like i told her, its nothing to do with her... for the most part anyway, I just cant cope with not seeing her, and feel at the moment i would be better off single. It really hurts knowing that you have someone there, but cant see them, or hold them, etc... and the lack of showing love when we are together puts me down as well. I can count the number of times we have hugged or properly kissed on one hand, and we have only had sex twice since we got back together. Its things like this that make a relationship work. I can handle the arguements, and to some point, the not seeing each other that often, if only we showed each other how much we missed each other when we do see each other. This is what makes a relationship work... not seeing each other once every other month, and then acting like we see each other every day. Laura had also come down with genital warts, so i had myself tested and got the all clear, this also started bringing things into my mind, was she cheating on me etc. I know you can have them and not show any symptoms for upto 8 months and all that, but i must question it.

It all just got too much in the end, I need to consentrate on work and uni, and i cant spend every second thinking about things like this.

There really isnt any other major news... Got 2 new girls at work, Gemma I get on with really really well, and Eli, I will be working with her this weekend. Its Robin's Birthday on friday, so we are having a BBQ tomorrow for him, he's been getting help with his drinking problem and it seems to be working, but like i kep reminding my nan, for how long? we will see...

I promice to write sooner this time! so that all my avid readers can keep up with the turmoils of my life!

Peace

And todays tunage is...... Delerium - Silence [DJ Tiesto remix]