THANKS A FUCKING LOT!

right.. I'll start from the beginning... Im depressed, and no, im not on "those" pills, got alot of personal reasons that im not gonna get into. Anyway, have my msn name set to "depressed - dont speak to me" and laura starts speaking to me, and i really love her and dont wanna talk to her about it and make her upset just cos im depressed. Anyway Lottie comes online, and starts going off on one about how i should talk to her about everything and how i dont speak to her or anything any more. and i texted her saying I dont speak about my problems and i dont trust anyone any more. and she said that why dont i trust her, and why wont i speak to her or laura about my problems. Can you blame me? after the julie thing, julie told me things that I have only "EVER" told lottie, yet lottie told me she didnt say anything. how can i trust her? yeah shes my best friend and i love her, but Im not used to trusting people, ive been hurt too many times. and not just by her. So I told lottie that ever since she moved to windsor shes the one thats seperated away from me, and even more so since she met alan. then I get no reply, the i just get a message saying "well frickin done!" which was from laura, cos guess what... lottie goes walkies! even though, shes said countless times "I dont go for "walks" any more! the next thing i get is

"with your attitude do you really think we are going to work,

im not having this discussion on here will see you sunday"

See... Lottie thinks she can solve all my problems. and even if I did tell her what was wrong, she wouldnt be able to help me! And Im sorry, Im not talking about my problems! now laura wants to talk, and she thinks if im like this then our relationship isnt gonna work out. Finally after finding someone I really truely love with all my heart, and she says that... My heart is beating so fucking fast now, I just feel like telling everyone to fuck off, and ending all this trouble. Its not that fucking hard! I did it once, I can do it again. I know! I promised that a wouldnt! but I dont have "those" types of friends around any more that could stop me! so maybe I just should go cut my wrists or something! fuck everyone! Yeah I dont want to loose laura, but I dont know what to do! Im not speaking to anyone about my problems! Im gonna see how i feel tomorrow! gonna go for a walk, need to clear my head!