Depressed

Fed up now! Life is shit at the moment. I kinda know why Im feeling like I do, I just dont understand it. saw Laura yesterday and her job interview went well. but lottie had a really really big fight with her mm so they aren't moving in now. They will now be staying at stacey's which isnt bad. Laura also has tonsilitis so I hope she gets well soon.

Phoned her today, around 10pm, cos she texted me saying shes in oxford. She went home this morning with lottie and lottie was coming back tonight but laura was meant to be working, which i take it she phoned in sick with the tonsilitis. but yeah... the phone call... It took 3 times for me to ring her before she answered, which i dont mind so much, she was probs busy. but its the way we spoke. Its like she didnt want to speak to me. and she didnt actualyl tell me why shes in oxford tonight. and she said "I will make time to see you tomorrow" those were her precise words. It sounded like its a chore to see me. no I love you after or anything.

Along with all this, my nan basically kicked me out this morning. Im still at home, but its really pissing me off! yeah ok, she worries about me, but im almost 23, im not ringing her every 5 minutes to let her know im ok, or that im staying out for the night, or i will be late or something. Its driving me fucking crazy. that ontop of how laura was on the phone, and I also got a phone call from Alison's brother like half an hour ago. First time ive spoken to him since me and ali broke up 5 years ago. Its just all brought back so many memories.

I just cant cope at the moment! Dont think i will go see laura tomorrow. just gonna go away somewhere and chill out. usual place... lol

Did have some good news today, Kala may not be going to iraq! shes getting married to some navy guy in september i think, but shes found out yesterday thats shes pregnant. so that puts a hold on active service! For those of you who dont know, Kala is an old online friend who is in the US Army. She was meant to be shipping out to Iraq on the 12th. Anyway, its good news! and shes sending me my invite to the wedding. just need to save up for it! probs wont be able to afford it anyway, but would be nice to finally meet her!!

Im gonna go cry myself to sleep now! I really am "THAT" depressed!