Why does it hurt so much?

Not so good today! Laura is down this weekend... and what is james doing? hes at home! why? I hear you ask... well... We all went to weatherspoons, me, laura, lottie, alan and jo, on friday night. Was great fun, and all went back to jos and i stayed there the night! laura lost her d600 mobile, which ruined it, but all in all the night was ok! come saturday, we all decided to go bowling so alan drove us to bowlplex but once we got in there was a 90 minute wait. We all (I SAID ALL) decided to go back to jo's grab a take-away and watch a dvd. it was a great idea. We stopped off at tesco's on the way home and did the shopping, but in tesco's jo told me i have to go home! shes a complete BITCH! this is the last night I have with laura as shes not up here for another 2 weeks! and then thats only a maybe. If she doesnt come up in two weeks im not gonna see her til june! jo said i had to go home anyway, but i was thinking of yeah after bowling, gives me some time to spend with laura before she goes home! but nope! its not like ive pissed jo off, after everything ive done for that fucking family! she could of let me and laura spend our last night together! Its not like the kids were there either! Frazer was at his dads, and hannah was at tony's! But hang on, worst thing is, Alan, who is always off down to windsor and can see lottie whenever he likes (cos hes got a car) was aloud to stay the night! Im sorry but im doing fuck all for jo now! Was gonna build a partition wall for her so theres enough rooms when lottie and laura move up, was helping her with the garden etc, but not any more! Laura wants me to go see her today, so we can say goodbye, but I feel so pissed off! Plus she's said dont come down til 5pm! and their train leaves at 7pm! That leaves about an hour! its rediculous! Im gonna go down their! just cos of laura! picking up my external hard drive that jo has been borrowing, cos its got some films on the kids wanted to watch, getting everything of mine outa that house and im not planning on going back there!

The good side of the story is, my nan turned round and said laura could of stayed the night! i was like oh my fucking god! shes bad enough when i want a friend to stay round, and now shes said my girlfriend can stay? lmfao! great, she even offered to drive her to the train station! that means going into town, which she never ever does! well, im gonna speak to laura, and see if she wantsto stay at mine next time shes up here!

Been with laura 3 weeks this monday! by the time shes back here it will be the longest, meaningful relationship ive been in! i know thats sad for a 22 year old, but oh well, my life and family hasnt really given me the chance to have a decent relationship in the past! Also theres a good chance of me getting a job soon at haha bar! its only bar backing but its a job and that means money! they said they are desperate for staff! and i actually like cellar work and bar backing etc! and you never know, it could lead to more!

still really pissed off! ned to take a walk! or do something! I cant even speak to lottie about it! and i always speak to her bout my problems, but cos it invloves her mom and laura, I dont want to tell her! I'll find a way of dealing with it!

peace xxx

And todays tunage is...... ocean Lab - Beautiful together