Lottie come up yesterday, shes going home in about 30mins. Went with her last night to youth works which wasnt that bad. But we went to the pub afterwards and she only had one drink... totally unlike her. I know shes stressed about getting a place to live and family problems and what not, but still...
The subject about me and her came up on more than one occassion and all i get is no or she changes the subject. I actually asked her why she wouldnt go out with me, oh guess what... subject change, or the "but your like an older brother to me!" statement. I love her, really really really LOVE her and it breaks my heart to be near her and know that i cant have her, if that makes sense, but i still go see her, cos i know she needs a friendly face around, and we get on really well. GOD! i love her so much ive even stopped looking at other girls. Its weird, cos i know i should move on, but i cant.
ON OTHER NEWS...
Went to the dermotologist on thursday and they have put me back onto Roaccutane which is the strongest stuff they have. Only way of getting it is through a hospital script. Its that powerful a drug that the normal docs cant even prescribe it. The problem is the side effects. Hense the reason i stopped taking it last time. Dry skin and lips, which i can live with if it helps, but depression and moodiness, really quick mood changes, sensitivity to bright lights, and in the severe cases, suicidal thoughts etc.
Oh the joy!
Waiting for blood tests which i will get back on monday to give me the all clear, and i can start taking them. They have to check my fat levels, and protiens in my liver as it could cas damage to them as well. Will need regualy check ups every month or two.
Also got a letter from UCAS and have been given a conditional acceptence onto the multimedia systems / computing HSc degree course at brookes. The only condition is that I pass this stupid access course at college. but thats all ok and this time next year i will be at uni!
Also got a leter from mices, the internet cafe about how much they are in debt and that means i should be hearing about the pay they owe me! Not sure how much I will get but i cant wait. It will pay for some of my bills etc or i might just blow it all on junk as usual! like updating my new computer etc.
Gotta get off to work. Oh they are gonna love it when i tell them bout this new drug and the side effects it will cause, and that i will need more time off. Im already depressed! i dont really need the depression increased from these drugs, plus the pressure from family, college, and work!
My life is so great isnt it?
ok sorry, i'll stop being sarcastic now! i hate my life and everything else!
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