Stressful life!

Ok, So im stressed, Im usually stressed, but this is worse! Usually when im stressed I work better, and can control it, usually with cigarettes! But Im starting to smoke alot more now, and I dont have a job so I cant put my energy into work, Im soo stressed that I dont have the energy to work at home! My life is going down hill, and when i already thought it had hit rock bottom!

Went to Woburn Safari Park today with Gemma & Leah! It was great fun, and I was glad to get out of the house for a while! I needed a break from sitting on my arse all day! lol! Havent seen Gemma in a while either! When we got back to Gemma's she was speaking to Natalie, who I really fancy, and she was asking her what i thought of her etc, and it was basically a no go area! so thats out of the question! But Im not really bothered!

Every Girl I fall in love with is either taken, married, lives too far away, or in the rare cases that they are single, they dont want to know me! Its just my luck! When all I want is a relationship! Girls put that male stereotype on every guy they meet! and dont deny it! its the "All i want is sex", "I just want you for your body" or the "Im gonna use you" or "you can do all my housework" Its those types of stereotypes that are put onto guys, and ok, I must admit, its true for the 95% of guys out there! They are mostly looking for one night stands, or someone to get laid with! But Im different and why cant they bloody well see that?

I want a long lasting relationship! I want someone for who they are, not for how slim they are. I go for personality etc, I dont care if shes a size 18, as long as she makes me happy! I mean, ok, Yes looks do play a role in it, but Im not fussed! Admittedly, If the gal has looks, it looks better to your friends, while your out etc!

Im not asking a gal to stay at home all day, washing cooking and cleaning, While im down the pub with the guys! I like cleaning and cooking! It doesnt bother me! I'd gladly stay at home, look after the kids while my wife is out working, if thats what she wanted! But the gals dont see that side of me, and by the time they notice that side, their with someone or are maried!

Damn this is a long rant!

Fuck nows why Im even doing this any more!

I think only 1 or 2 people have ever read any of it!


Oh well, shit happens, and life goes on!


And todays tunage is...... Linkin park - Numb